Of the Star and the Moon [Harry Potter Fanfiction]

Chapter 12

The day after Christmas in the Potter house. Read on, my lovelies!

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"Do you think Lily would like a teddy bear? Or maybe some new clothes! No, no, if I bought her clothes she might hit me. Oh! What about a puppy? Padfoot?"

"As much as I am inclined to love puppies, being one myself, I regrettably have to inform you that none of that will do much good."

"Why?" James asked, leaning over the table.

Sirius leaned back in his chair a bit, stretching with a full stomach. "Christmas was yesterday, Prongs. It'd be a little late. Plus you sent her that one bauble already. She liked it well enough, told you so and all that nonsense in that sappy letter."

"Yeah, but I just want to make sure she has all she wants. Nothing's too much for my Lilykins. Except the moon, maybe. It doesn't respond to the summoning charm yet."

"You are whipped, my friend, and frankly, it's disgusting."

James frowned and took another bite of his pancakes. "'M not whipped," he replied with a full mouth.

"You are too whipped. You'd do anything to get a little Lily loving."

James rolled his eyes. "Oh please, Sirius, like you haven't done plenty of outlandish things yourself just to get a girl."

"I'll have you know, I haven't. My bits are untouched. I'm waiting for the right prince charming to come sweep me off my feet. We shall spend the whole night dancing at the ball!" He batted his eyelashes and threw in an only slightly manly giggle.

"Your terrible impression of lovesick bird aside, I know this information. And by untouched you mean all but yourself, of course," James said, sticking out his tongue and making gagging noises.

"Don't forget to count yourself, James Potter," Sirius said, winking at him. "Remember, if I should become pregnant it will be your responsibility to tell my mother!"

"Her oldest son pregnant with another male's baby? Your mother would die of a heart attack instantly from such a disgrace of the Black name."

"...On further thought, maybe you should tell my mother that anyway." They both laughed.

"But it could never happen. You're just no good for me. I need a man with more stability. I mean, look at the kids we already have! I haven't seen Lily Jr. and Devilishly Handsome Padfootfish in months! I don't think you'd be able to raise a family," Sirius told him.

"If you're referring to the fish we rescued from muggles over the summer, I do believe you locked them in your trunk which most likely has killed them. Parenting never really was your forte."

"Oh darling, don't flatter me," Sirius giggled. "You know how I respond to flattery." He lifted his shirt over his belly button teasingly.

"I'm sorry mate, but I just can't be in this relationship anymore. My heart belongs to someone else."

Sirius pouted. "Fine. Go make miniature sex-haired gits with your redheaded goddess. Just forget all about me!"

"Padfoot, Padfoot, Padfoot. How can I make this better? Let's find someone for you to love! I've always wanted to be a matchmaker!" James said, wiggling his eyebrows. Sirius snorted. "No, really! What about Alice? No, Frank would murder you. Mary? Marlene? Take your pick!"

"Really, Prongs? You're going to offer up Lily's friends? What a noble sacrifice of you. I can tell you've really put some thought into your, ah, what did you call it? Oh yes. 'Matchmaking.'"

"Fine, someone else. What about Narcissa? You Blacks were always into the whole inbred thing." Sirius glared at him. James laughed. "Okay, okay, so not Narcissa. What about Remus?" James winked at him. "You want some wolfy lovin'?"

Sirius blushed furiously. James halted his fork with a speared piece of pancake in front of his mouth in confusion. James stared at Sirius. Sirius stared at James. James dropped his fork. Sirius panicked. James began to smirk. Sirius panicked even more. James began to chuckle lewdly. Sirius gulped.

"Well, well, well. It seems to me like Sirius Black really does want some wolfy lovin'."

"I—uh...NO! No, I do not. I don't."

"You don't what, Padfoot?"

"Love Remus!"

"I never said you loved him, Padfoot. You implied that yourself. I just said you wanted to f—"

"James!" Sirius screeched, turning bright red once again.

"Did the Sirius Black just blush whilst talking about sex? Wow. I never thought I'd see the day you turned prude."

"I am NOT a prude," Sirius said decisively.

"You are. You are a prude when it comes to your Remus. Because you love him."

"Please, James, this is not a joke. It's absolutely terrible. Horrible."

"Yes, and I'm sure it has caused you to have a few no good, very bad days and all that. Stop being dramatic, Sirius. It's not the end of the world."

"And how would you know? What if he were to find out? He might never look at me the same way again!"

"Oh, I'm sure you're right there," James said, chuckling over the thought of how Remus really would respond to this knowledge. "I just doubt he'd be as horrified as you seem to think he will."

"I don't know what's so bloody funny to you. You've had your own fair share of romantic struggles. I do seem to recall that it took almost seven years for you to win over your current love interest."

James grinned. "Ah, but that is the amusing part, Padfoot. I have had many a struggle indeed. Therefore, it is absolutely delightful to see the great Sirius Black, conqueror of all hearts, finally brought to his knees. Even you are not perfect when it comes to love, Padfoot."

"Oh yes, obviously not," he replied sarcastically, tossing his gorgeous hair and letting it fall perfectly around his face.

James snorted. "Now there's the overly confident bastard I'm used to. See, that's the personality it takes for you to win a heart. Come on, Sirius. Just tell him. I'm sure things will work out for the best."

"I will tell him! Just...not yet. Let me do this on my own, okay? I don't need to have to worry whether you're going to let something slip to him or not. So, don't tell him. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. I won't tell him...yet. But if you haven't told him by the end of the year, Padfoot, I'm outing you. To everyone."

Sirius scowled. "Fine. I'll have told him by the end of the year."

"Great," James said with a toothy grin.

"Great. Now can we talk about something else?" Sirius pleaded.

"Fine. No more wolfy lovin'. Well, one more." James let out an extremely loud howl.

Sirius turned to tackle him, but James had already shot off, laughing the entire way.

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James is so very talented at getting information out of his friends. Did anyone catch my reference to the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst? I don't really remember much of what happened in the book except for that Alexander was having a bad day and it had a happy ending. The title is pretty memorable though. I don't really know why, it just sort of stuck. I hope you liked this chapter. See ya in the next chapter!