Still Believe

Chapter 3: I won't give up on fixing you

"Alana! Alana!" I yelled as I ran into the library on Monday. The test was today, and James, Wesley, and I wished each other luck. Our teacher had time to grade them during class, and I anxiously tapped my foot and waited. I got it back, and I practically ran to the library for me tutoring session. Alana was sitting at our normal table. I ran up and Alana looked up.

"I got a B!" I yelled.

"AAAAAAH!" she screamed as she got up and hugged me. "Congratulations!"

James and Wesley ran in the doors and practically fell their way over.

"I got a C!" Wesley said.

"I got a D+!" James said.

We all jumped around and celebrated. This was a big thing for us, because neither of us had never ever gotten a good grade like that in a while. It was really nice.

Alana invited us over to her house to watch movies and celebrate that Saturday. But we had a week ahead of us, and in class, we weren't...., mean to each other.

I walked into class the next day and smiled at James, who was finishing his homework. He smiled back.

"Hey." I said. "Didn't get to finish it?"

He shrugged. "Nope. So gotta do it here."

I sat down. Wesley walked in. "Guys!" he said. "I talked to the football coach and he said if I keep my grades up, I can get on the team next year!"

"That's awesome!" James and I said at the same time.

"Did you tell Alana?"

"No, actually. I don't want her to have the pressure of tutoring me in my other classes, so I'm gonna study until I get it right."

He sat down and we all small talked, being a little nice to each other. Everyone seemed a little shocked, but we didn't care. During free period, we hung out in the library and studied. At lunch, we didn't sit together but waved to each other. On Wednesday, me and Wesley went jogging around the football feild during free period until James got out of tutoring. We weren't really friends, but we all were getting along better.

On Wednesday I went to tutoring, and James jogging around the football feild with Wesley while I was getting tutored. But today it was just harder than it always was.

"Ugh! I"m never gonna get this." I said.

"Don't talk like that." Alana said. "Just keep trying."

"No, it's not just math. Yes, this is confusing but I'm so messed up and I can't--"

"Hey, listen. I know you come with a bad past and I know you think you're not a good person but you are. I can see it in you. You got a B on a test! You're being nicer to James and Wesley. You're improving, Leslie. You may not see it but I do. When I first met you I knew you wouldn't be easy to teach but I was willing t take that. I was willing to risk it all to fix you, and I won't give up on that."

"So what are you saying? I'm gonna end up being a huge movie star scientist one day?"

"I'm saying I won't give up on fixing you."

--

School was okay the rest of the week, then Saturday came. James called me just to make sure I was still coming.

"Hey Leslie, are you coming?" he asked.

"No, I'm not." I said.

"Why not?" I heard him and Wesley say.

"Because I can't."

"Come on, it's a celebration for the test!"

"I just can't go, okay? Tell Alana everything's okay. I'm not going. That's it."

"Okay," they said, sounded sad. "But we'll miss you." James said before hanging up.

I didn't tell them the real reason I wasn't going. Because..this was a good feeling, being smart and actually getting along with people I hate. But I was scared. I was scared to acknowledge that and face it, and I was scared that it wouldn't last long. I knew it wouldn't last long, because I'm still a lost cause. No matter what Alana says, everyone knows it. This is just a way to keep me occupied while I'm really failing.

At school on Monday, I didn't show up to tutoring. I wasn't about to face the fact that I was a little smart, and it'd be gone soon. Instead, during free period I hid under the bleachers.

Same on Tuesday, I didn't jog with Wesley on the football feild. I hid in the bleachers.

Same with Wednesday. Instead I skipped school and stayed home all day.

And Thursday, James called. But I didn't answer. I left him a vocemail during school hours telling him I was okay but I wasn't at school.

And Friday, I came to school but skipped my classes.

Saturday was our tutoring session, but I went by early to tell Alana I wasn't coming.

I knocked on the door and she let me in.

"Hey," she said. "How are you?"

"Fine. I can't come today." I said.

"Where have you been this week?"

"I'm done with this. It's gonna be gone soon. It's not gonna last. I'm messed up. I'm stopping this whole tutoring thing."

"Leslie," she said. "I won't give up on fixing you.