Still Believe

Chapter 11: Leaving the Past Behind

I woke up the next morning in my bed. Not my bed but my bed I had when staying at Alana's house. I can't remember much from yesterday. I look at the clock and it's 12:05 p.m. I get up because Alana isn't in the room and I walk into the bathroom to put in my contacts. I walk downstairs and I see Alana and her mom sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hi guys." I say.

"Hey." they say. Alana gets up and hugs me. "Are you feeling better?"

"What?" I ask.

"You passed out yeserday." she said. "I guess you don't remember?"

"No I don't."

"But you remember everything that's happened, don't you?"

"Yes." I said. "I probably was just tired or something."

"Hey Leslie, there's something I want to talk to you about." Alana syas. We go upstairs back to our room. "So I had an idea. We can write letters and little pieces of paper about what's bothering us or what's happened in the past and let them go in balloons. Do you want to?"

"I'd love to." I said. "Alana? There's something you should know about me."

"Yeah?"

"I had a brother that died when I was fourteen."

"Oh my gosh.....really? How old was he?"

"Twenty-two. I know I should've told you but I just never did and....."

"Leslie, it's okay. I understand. I'm not mad at you for not telling me. But.....was that why..?"

"I guess you could say that's why I ended up the way I am."

"The way you were." she corrected. "So when are we going to let those balloons go?"

--

I held the string to my balloon as we walked to the park. My feet crunched against the new fall leaves, the summer was almost over and these past couple of weeks have been amazing. My wind blew in my face, but I kept walking. Alana walked beside me, holding her balloon also. The sun glistened, causing a little warmth in the late August air.

This summer has been amazing. Ever since I told Alana about my brother, I didn't go back home. I didn't call Jason. I started surrounding myself with positive things.

But the balloon thing was just a thing we were doing to feel better about ourselves. I knew that Alana was going to Yale this year and I was going to be a senior. I'd barely passed junior year. I thought I couldn't do it without Alana, but I didn't tell her. I would be alright.....right?

The notes in my balloon said things that really felt good to get out. A lot of regrets in my past and a lot of broken promises. A twig fell and almost hit Alana, and we laughed it off as we stopped walking.

"Alright, before we release these let's say a couple of words, okay?" Alana said. "This is to letting go of the past and moving on."

"That's all you can think of?" I half laughed.

"Could you come up with better?" she asked.

I thought. "Actually, no."

We both sort of laughed.

"This is going to release all these feelings bottled up inside." I said. And together, we released our balloons as they floated to the sky, but still staying together. Alana gave me a hug.

"You know, I'm really proud of you."

Hearing those words was simply amazing.

--

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Alana asked as we loaded her bags into the car. She was leaving today.....and her parents were nice enough to let me stay with them for a while, maybe even longer..

"Yes, I'll be okay." I giggled.

"You said the exact same thing to James and look what happened."

James.....right. He didn't see me in the hospital and hadn't called me since. I wasn't sure what was up with him.

"Sorry." she said, realizing what she was saying.

"So I guess I'm supposed to hang around and wait forever?" I asked closing the trunk. (I hope you find it by Miley Cyrus)

"I'll be back. I promise." she said. "Now are you gonna give me a hug?"

I hugged her. "Thanks so much, Alana."

"Just remember," she said. "Leave the past behind."

--

School wasn't that bad this year. I mean yeah, Wesley wasn't there. And James and I weren't exactly talking because our only class together was math. But I tried. I tried to be the person Alana was teaching me to be. I tried to be nice, for Wesley. I tried and tried. But I missed Alana.

My math teacher from last year taught us again this year. She really acted like I was the worst student a teacher could ever have. I was. But I'm not anymore. I tried to prove that to her, but she didn't care. James looked at me as if he was saying, just ignore it. I smiled and after class, we talked for the first time since he helped me move back home.

"So, we're friends again huh?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry I didn't call you back, so many things were happening and I had to take it all in."

"It's okay." I smiled. "I had an amazing summer anyway."

"Are you still living at home?"

"No." I said. "Jason is, but I'm not. I live with Alana. Welp, she left for college. So I live with her parents."

 "Whoa, a lot happened over the summer." he said. "You guys didn't like each other."

"She liked me, but I didn't like her because I didn't really care much about help."

"Hey, you know what? I'm happy she stuck with you. It's helped you a lot, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." I smiled. "Alana taught me to leave my past behind."

Alana did teach me to leave my past behind. Who knew a year ago I would be a completely different person than everyone expected me to be.

A piece of paper fell out of my backpack, so I picked it up and went to be alone and read it.

Dear Summer aka Leslie,

This past year has been amazing. I've seen such an improvement in you, and I knew you had it. I knew you had what it takes to overcome what I once did, also. Don't ever feel bad about not opening up to me, because I used to be the same way. When I was sixteen, I had given up hope. You didn't. You think you did, but you didn't. I knew and know you like to have someone to care, without getting into your business. Leslie, you're going to do amazing things in your life, and you've already done amazing things in mine. Leave your past behind, it's not worth it to look back when a better, easier, nicer, cleaner road is coming your way.

Still believe, Leslie. Sometimes believing, is the only thing that helps us to keep dreaming.