Still Believe

Chapter 8: Jason, I'm sorry

Oh my gosh.

I tapped my foot as I anxiously waited. I was very antsy today, but only because my brother was coming over. My brother. Who I haven't seen in months. I didn't even get to talk to him, Alana just called him and asked if he wanted to see me. And he did. Alana was sitting on the other side of the couch, giggling. "You really don't have to be that nervous, you know." Alana said.

"Um, yeah I do. My brother that I haven't seen in months is coming over."

"Relax, it's gonna be okay."

"Please stop saying that." I said, even though I knew I wanted to keep hearing it. Alana knew it, but I didn't admit it.

There was an anxious knock at the door. I mean, an excited knock. I jumped up and grabbed the door handle, but Alana pulled me back. "Calm down." she giggled. "I'll get it."

I stood back and she opened the door. My brother..Jason Fell. His brown hair hung in his eyes, covering the sparkle in them he used to have. He was a little taller, but not a lot. He dressed the same, basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He was scared.

"Jason?" I asked.

He ran into my arms and we hugged. I never thought I'd see him again. I felt tears fall from my eyes. I thought something terrible had happened to him.

"This is so beautiful." Alana said. Me and Jason pulled away from each other.

"This is my friend, Alana." I told Jason. Wait..Alana was my friend? I guess she was.

"Hi." Jason said. "What happened to your leg, Leslie?"

I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Jason, would you like to stay here tonight?" Alana asked.

"Actually, that'd be nice. The bridge I live under isn't very comfy."

Wait......he lived under a bridge? He didn't live in a house? "Is that where you've been living all this time?" I asked.

"Yep."

"When was your last meal?"

"Gosh, I honestly don't know."

I can say that now I have an idea of how Alana feels.

Jason stayed the night. He ate well, showered, and we let him sleep in my bed because my room wasn't ready, and I didn't mind still being on the couch. I was still mad at Alana.

That night, I was downstairs watching Titanic. I loved this movie, it's so amazing..I tried not to cry because it was so sad. What if this is how I ended up? With a better life than just a C in math every once and a while? Wow......I've never thought of it like that. I never thought of me having a good life after high school. I haven't even thought about my future.....what college I'm going to, where Jason's gonna be, all that. I never thought about that.

Jason came downstairs, giggling. "You still love this movie?"

"Yes, shut up." I said. "You've never even seen it."

"I've seen some of it." he said, sitting on the couch. 

"It's a really powerful movie." I said. "Here, watch it from the beginning."

"Isn't it like three hours?"

"Yeah but you can hardly tell, two hours of it is the sinking."

"Don't tell me what happens." he laughed.

Two hours later, Jason's eyes were fixed right onto the screen. He hadn't left the couch since I started it from the beginning. Alana and I could not stop laughing. For a guy who didn't want to watch it he sure was enjoying it.

I heard a sniffle. "Oh my gosh, are you crying?" I asked.

He turned around. "Whoa I didn't know you were there! How long have you two been there?"

"The whole time." I said, laughing. I sat on the couch next to him and Alana sat next to me. All three of us watched it, and when it was over Jason couldn't speak.

Instead, he got up and walked up to his room.

--

That night, I lay on the couch with the blankets covering me. Jason wasn't hurt by our laughing, was he? It's okay for a guy to cry. I still haven't apologized to him....and I couldn't sleep because of it. I groaned as I got up and trailed up the stairs. I knocked on the bedroom door.

Alana got up and answered it. "Leslie, why are you up so late?" she asked tiredly.

"I need to talk to Jason." I said scaredly. 

"And it couldn't wait until morning?" she asked.

"No..it couldn't wait a year either." I said.

But suddenly, I realized....why...nevermind. I had to apologize to Jason. "Okay, Jason?" Alana called. Jason tiredly opened his eyes.

"Dude why the crap did you wake me up now?" he complained.

"It's important." I said.

He got up and stumbled over to the doorway and we made our way downstairs to the couch. "What is it?" he asked as we sat down.

"This is really hard to say, I should've said it months ago but I'm saying it now. I'm so sorry I punched you that night and never said sorry. I'm sorry I never chased after you when you left or never said anything when it cooled down. I let you down and I'm really really sorry. I realize now what a huge mistake that was, and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that."

"You call that an apology?" he asked. My mouth dropped. He got up. "What a heck of a sister you were, you didn't even care that I moved out."

"But Jason--"

"No, listen to me. I knew about you. I knew what you told the principal and you didn't even care, so why say sorry now? I'm leaving here tomorrow and you can't stop me, I'm leaving and going back home."

"To dad?"

"No, to my bridge."

He went upstairs and I heard a door slam. I hated arguments a lot because that's what I sort of grew up around. I pulled up my overs, and went to sleep.

Jason better realize how much guts that took me to do.