Still Believe

Chapter 12: Things are changing

I walked into class one morning and felt really disey. I went back out to the hall and took a drink of water, and it helped.

But then, a week later, I was walking to my locker when I lost my balance. My legs just gave out. I got back up and kept walking, but my legs felt as if they'd fallen asleep.

I don't think much of this, but it is weird. I certainly don't need any more problems, because James and I had a fight last week.

Flashback

"Gosh, James you really need to forget about your past and move on!" I yelled.

"You have no clue about what happened to me this summer, do you?"

"And you have no clue what happened to me this summer either!"

"Really? What, you learned to play soccer? Yeah that's cool too."

"Alana changed me, James! She taught me to believe."

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"You'll see! I'm not the girl I was a year ago."

Flashback over

When I got back up, I heard some girls whispering.

"Isn't that that Alana girl?" one asked.

"Yeah, she was in my math class last year. She and that James guy and Wesley didn't get along and now they're best friends."

"Didn't she dare Wesley to go somewhere and they got in a car wreck?"

"It was terrible! It was all her fault."

I turned around and walked to them. That's not how it happened. "That's not how it happened."

"Excuse me?" the first one asked. "And who are you?"

"I'm Leslie Fell, and I overheard your conversations. That's not how it happened." I said firmly, but calmly.

"Ha, Leslie Fell?" they laughed.

"Like I've never heard that one before." I said back. "And you are?"

They looked unamused as if I should know who they are. "Hallie and Ella." they said.

"Hallie and Ella, it seems as if you think you know me. You don't. James, Wesley and I didn't get along, I'll admit it. But then Alana came along and tutored us all and we started to get along. Wesley wanted to stay home and study and not to out and have fun, and it was MY fault he died in that car wreck. There, I said it. It was my fault. So if you're gonna blame me for it, get your story right. I said it. It was my fault." I said, walking away with tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry, Wesley." I whispered as I walked along. "I'm sorry."

--

I sat at home that night thinking about today. Really, it's not even my home....I pulled out my binder. My agenda said it was September 2nd, 2001. Alana should be coming home in a couple of weeks, maybe a month or two. But I honestly wasn't sure how I was making it without her telling me I'm messing up. I know I'm messing up. I haven't talked to Jason or my dad, I haven't even began to talk to James since our fight. I messed up, and there's nothing I can do to change it.

It's okay. Wesley said.

"Go away." I told him, turning over and putting the pillow over my head.

Leslie, pull yourself together. You're gonna have to with the way things are gonna get.

"Great, so it's gonna get worse?" I asked.

I can't tell you. But Alana sure isn't gonna be here to fix it."

"So she's gonna break her promise?" I asked, turning around as if he was in the room with me.

Leslie, put your brave face on. It's gonna end up okay. But right now, all you can do is believe that.

"I still believe, Wesley. But I don't have faith anymore."

Please, get some faith..you won't survive without it.

"Who put you in charge of taking care of me?" I asked, getting up and waling over to Alana's bed.

Leslie, you have to trust me.

"Wesley, you have to stop worrying about me. I'll be okay."

Just remember this. Alana is going to give you a scare soon, but she's gonna be alright. Remember that, okay?

"Wesley, you're confusing me. What about James?"

James will come around. He misses you a lot, and has a lot going on. He needs you to make a move.

"Yeah, right." I said.

The phone rang, so I answered it. "Hello?" I asked as I snuggled up to one of Alana's stuffed animals.

"Hey Leslie, it's me." Alana said. "I have really bad news."

I looked up as if I was looking at Wesley. "What?" I asked.

"I can't come home anytime soon. They gave me an offer to stay, and it looks like I won't be home until next year."

"Alana, don't scare me like that again." I said, relieved. "But why?"

"This job takes work, Leslie. I can't slack off."

"But I need you......I.." I thought about telling her about me dropping to the floor again. "I fell today, and I didn't pass out but my legs gave out."

"Are you okay? Is everything going okay?"

"I guess. James and I had a fight and we haven't talked. These girls thought I dared Wesley to do something and that's why he died. Things aren't going well."

"You'll just have to tough it out on your own. I can't be there right now, and one day I'm not gonna be around to help you."

"But Alana--"

"I have to go. Bye." she said, hanging up.

No I love you? No "love you, talk to you later." Nothing? Alana treated me like a sister, and I respected that. But she wasn't acting like herself, either. So she has no right to tell me I'm not okay.

Summer, you have to promise me you'll be alright. Wesley said. Things are changing.

"Things are changing, Wesley. But not exactly in a good way." I responded.

Hey guys! I have an author's note coming soon, about my trip to Cedar Point, the new cover and the story behind how it was made, and what you'll be seeing in new chapters! This chapter we finally found out what year it was, since it was never mentioned. I hope you like it, guys! Sorry it was short! Also, I'm dedicating this chapter and some future chapters to a really awesome person who made the extremely beautiful cover :) I'll explain more in the author's note. Thanks for reading :) -Sarah