We were driving to a football match, just my best mate and I. We were having a laugh, goofing around and playing with the stereo. We drove into the intersection, not checking to see if someone was still coming through. Preventing this could have been so simple.
Crushed left arm and leg, seven snapped ribs, and too many bruises to count.
I remember the flash of the car as it sped toward us and the sound of the crunching metal as the two cars squashed together. I was sitting in the passenger side, right at the heart of the impact. There was no way that I could have gotten away unharmed.
Crushed left arm and leg, seven snapped ribs, and too many bruises to count.
And I was lucky it was just that. I could have ended up much worse- so much worse, I didn’t bare think about it. Luckily, my mate had walked away with a few scratches.
I remember how she laughed softly after it happened; she thought that we were both okay, and that we had been lucky.
I remember the sound of her screams as she saw my bloody body limp next to her. I was barely holding onto consciousness when paramedics came.
So here I was, lying in a cold and empty hospital room. The only sound was the incessant beeping of the many monitors I was hooked up to- the doctors said it was necessary; I had lost so much blood that I wasn’t even allowed to go to sleep. They all feared that I might not wake up. I wasn’t even able to move; everything ached.
But I didn’t dare complain to anyone. I was lucky to be alive and I was grateful. There were so many people that I couldn’t bear to part with.
Sadness filled me when I thought of my boyfriend. His brown hair that he swept to the side, his deep grey eyes, and the way he could make me laugh in any occasion. I missed him so much, but there was nothing I could do. He wasn’t here, and he wouldn’t return for another two months.
I stared at the ceiling, trying my hardest to breathe in a way that didn’t feel like I was inhaling daggers. I desperately wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep. I was so tired, I felt like if I closed my eyes, I wouldn’t wake up. And that scared the crap out of me.
I looked around the bland room, deciding to distract myself. The bloody jacket on the table beside me caught my attention. I had been wearing it this morning; it was the only thing the paramedics were able to get off of me easily- the rest they had to cut off. I loved that jacket, and I pained me to see the red stains on it. The nurse had offered to throw it out, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I tore my eyes away, staring at the dark sky outside my window. It was near eleven at night, almost a full twelve hours since the crash. My family had already been to see me, along with a few lawyers. I was 18, and they had given me to option to sue the woman who hit us; they assured me that we would most likely win, as she was definitely the one in the wrong. But I was tired, and I knew that it would only bring more stress into my life.
The beeping of the monitors droned on, sending me into a sort of hypnosis. One second of rest- that wouldn’t hurt, right? I just wanted to close my eyes for one minute. I struggled to keep my eyes open, my head dropping to the side. Just one minute of sleep and I would wake myself up.
I closed my eyes, about to let myself doze off. The silence of the hospital filled my ears and suddenly my chest didn’t hurt as much. I felt the aching all over my body fading.
I was just about to slip off when the door swung open. I jumped slightly, my eyes darting over to the person standing just outside my room.
He was here. I smiled slightly even though it hurt. I wanted to jump up and hug him like they did in the movies, but I had two heavy casts weighing me down. On the inside I was jumping around, screaming my head off. But on the inside, all I could do was wearily watch him as he walked over to me, panic covering his every feature.
“Hi,” I croaked, my usual voice replaced with that of a damaged hospital patient, which I was. I coughed, and my chest felt like someone had set fire to it; my eyes stung with tears as I bit my tongue to stop myself from screaming in pain. How was it possible to hurt this much?
“I know this is a stupid question- because I know it’s not true- but I have to ask because it’ll make me feel slightly better.” Louis paused, crouching down next to me. “Are you alright?”
I felt like laughing. Was I alright? I felt horrible, and I knew I didn’t look my best, either. I nodded slightly, my neck aching from the movement.
“Yeah,” I whispered. He raised his eyebrows and brushed a piece of my long, curly black hair behind my ear. Louis rested his chin against the rail on the side of my bed, his eyes never leaving mine. Louis was finally home, and the fact stopped my heart from hurting so much.
“What are you doing in London? Supposed to be touring in America.” I managed to ask, my fingers itching to touch him. I wanted to kiss him and tell him that I was alright, and that he didn’t have to worry so much. But I couldn’t.
“How could you ask that? As soon as your mum called me, I got on the first plane home.” He paused and rubbed a thumb over the stitches on my forehead. “What happened?”
“Going to football match with Sharon, got hit by someone who was texting and ran a red light.” My throat ached from talking.
Pain and anger flashed in Louis’ eyes and he gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead before sitting down in a chair next to my bed. He put his head in his hands, hiding his face from me. I watched as he pulled him hair, flexing his arm muscles.
I so desperately wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but I felt like a prisoner in my own body. There was nothing I could do but watch him.
I braced myself for the pain I was about to force upon myself. “Are you okay?” I barely whisper.
Louis shook his head, still staring down at his lap.
“No,” He looked up at me, tears streaming down his face. “No, I’m not okay. You could have died, Jumanah! You could have died, and I wouldn’t have been there for you. I would be all the way over in damn America! It’s just… I don’t know if I’ll be able to go on without you. I love you, Jumanah- since the first time I saw you in your varsity jacket and skinny jeans.”
A stray tear escaped, running down the side of my cheek and falling onto the pillow. “I love you, too, Louis. Always have, always will.”
He looked me straight in the eyes, his usual smile replaced with a thin line. “I’m never going to leave your side ever again. Where you go- I go.” Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “And if you go- I go, too.”
