sander sides oneshots [slow updates]

hidden part i [roman and virgil]

tw. self hatred, mention of self harm, thoughts of death/suicide, suicide attempt

patton laughed at his family, everyone seemed so happy, or that's what he thought. he didn't have any idea that one of them was slowly wearing down, on his last straw before he would break. patton didn't notice that same trait wiping a tear away quickly and he didn't notice that no matter how hot it was out, they refused to wear shorts. patton was clueless, but he wasn't the only one who had no idea what was happening to the certain trait's mental health.

roman sighed, standing up, and telling the three other traits he was going to bed, they all thought nothing of it, because it was getting late. roman figured if he went to bed now, he would have at least another hour until the others went to bed so he had about an hour to cry and let all the negative emotions out, so that's what he did. roman cried because his room was a mess, he cried because his family wouldn't pause a second to know the real him, he cried because no one ever helped him. he cried because there were ugly scars on his thighs when he was a stupid self-loathing teenager, he cried because he was alive.

it was hard for roman to put himself over others because he absolutely hated himself. why should he be put first when he was.. well him? he potrayed himself as a self-obsessed, overly happy, in a way dopey way and heroic, but if anyone took one second to ask how he was feeling they would quickly see that facade deteriorate and show the true side of roman sanders.

and sometimes he had to laugh, the first sign of virgil feeling negative they freak out and do anything to cheer him up, but when it comes to him, they all shrug it off.

he picked up a sketch pad that was thrown to the floor and reached over to get a pen that laid on his bedside table. picking up the pen, he began to write. he wrote;

dear fellow sides,
i would like to inform you that once you read this i will no longer be in the mindspace with you. i have decided that it would be in my best interest, as well as everyone else's if i permanently left. am i right?
i will miss you all dearly, though you may not share the same feelings it is fine. i understand. don't mourn over me, don't act like i was a big part of thomas because truly anyone can replace me at this point. i am just taking up space. i apologize for all the work you will have to do if you end up making my room into something more important. let someone treat themselves.
i shall deeply miss you all, tell thomas i miss him too!
farwell everyone!

signed, roman prince sanders.

roman's handwriting was quite messy but wasn't illegible. he decided that he would hang it on the fridge after everyone went to bed and then he would head to the memory library and go into the room of forgetfulness and well.. yeah.

he heard patton and logan go to bed which means virgil wss close behind. he walked out and saw virgil sitting on the couch, scrolling through tumblr. roman ignored him and decided to treat himself before he couldn't anymore.

he got out his favorite ice-cream and got a bowl of it, hoping virgil wouldn't come to investigate. "yo, princy." virgil said and roman silently cursed. "whatcha doing?" he asked, getting up and walking over. "dude. patton will kill you if he finds out."

"it'll be too late." roman mumbled to himself.

"what?" virgil asked, only hearing part of the sentence.

"huh?" roman asked back, masking the truth with false confusion. "i didn't say anything?"

"okay.." roman's heart dropeed a little, knowing virgil wouldn't even try harder. "what are you planning on doing for the rest of the night, because we both know ice-cream keeps you awake."

"i'm gonna go explore the memory library." roman answered.

"mind if i join you? i have nothin' else to do."

"sure, go ahead to the library. i'll be right there." virgil nodded and went off, heading down the hall. roman bit his nails and he hung the note on the fridge. what if someone finds it before he kills himself? that would be terrible... right?

roman shook his head, putting his thoughts to the back of the mind, quickly walking over to the library not wanting to seem suspicious. he walked in and saw virgil looking at his memory book. "hey, what are you doing with that?" roman asked, taking the book from virgil.

"looking at your memories." virgil yawned.

"you seem tired, why don't you go to bed?" roman suggested, keeping his memory book close.

"'m not tired. i jus' needa sit." virgil stumbled over to the reading nook that logan designed. he flopped down into a bean bag chair and struggled to stay awake.

roman sighed and went further into the library, hoping the faint noises of his shoes clicking against the floor would put virgil to sleep, knowing soft calming sounds(asmr) puts him to sleep quickly.

it wasn't until another half hour when roman came over to put a note on virgil to check the fridge when he woke up. and with his plan all set up, he headed off to the room of forgetfulness.

thats all you get bc im tired sorry but im sorry for the emotions i just feel n e g a t i v e  despite it being summer oof

955 words