chapter 11

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"Tristan.." Sodapop started but i was already gone. Not physically considering my body didn't move but my mind was elsewhere. Finally I knew I had to do something.

I still couldn't talk. Darry and Sodapop stood there starring at me and I just walked out the door. I could hear them trying to stop me but I'm not sure what they said.

"Tristan!" I finally heard Sodapop call out as he ran after me.

"No." I cut him off. "I need to go." My voice was stern and he knew what I needed. He backed off and I walked to Bucks.

Dallas is in prison.

Sodapop is going to be a father.

And I need to leave. I ran upstairs as soon as I reached Bucks place. I began to throw my stuff into a suitcase. I searched frantically for the key to my car that was still at the DX. In the process I just broke down. I loved these boys. I loved them more than anything and I didn't want to leave them.

But I wasn't made for love. And love wasn't made for me. I was uncontrollably wild and fearless. Love wasn't made to run it was made to settle. And I was a runner.

"Yes!" I cried out through the tears when I found my key. I dried my tears and ran down the stairs.

"I knew you'd leave." Holly's voice called out.

I turned and looked at her. She had sadness, but understanding, in her brown eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not meant for this place." I replied.

She chuckled and took a few steps closer to me. "Yeah. who is? Just be safe. I'll watch over Dally for you when he gets out." She smiled and I felt a tears tug at my eyes.

"Thank you." My voice cracked from the attempt not to cry. She threw her arms around me and hugged me.

"Go." She said quietly.

"Tell Buck Thank you." I said as I was leaving. She nodded and I was gone.

I walked back down the road to the DX and got my car out. There was a man arguing with one of the other coworkers.

"Sir," I interrupted. "You need a car?" I asked. He was arguing because they couldn't fix his car.

"Whats it to you, doll?" He asked.

"I'll give you this one for 1500 Bucks right now." I made a deal and his eyes lit up. He looked at the car and then back at me.

"Deal." He dug into his pockets and pulled out the amount we agreed on and I handed him the key. And he drove off in my car.

I walked back down the road until I came across where I could find a car willing to take me somewhere. I stood with my thumb up and waited. Finally I car came to a brief stop.

"Where you headed?" A brunette with curly hair asked.

"I don't care." I answered honestly and she laughed.

"Tristan!" I heard behind my shoulder. I turned around and saw Sodapop and the other boys running with him.

Sodapop ran up to me and stopped. He was breathing heavily and he grabbed my hand. I tried to fight the tears I knew wanted to escape me.

"Please don't go." Was all he said and I shook me head.

"Soda.." I started but he stopped me.

"No listen. Sandy is pregnant. But it isn't my baby. She's be cheating on me for months." He said as if it wasn't even hard. I felt relieved. But Dally... Dally was still gone

"I can't be around you. It isn't fair for Dally and I need to get out of here! This place has changed me Sodapop!" I yelled while warm tears still fought their way down the grin of my cheeks.

"Fine. You know I'll let you leave if you can promise me one thing." He negotiated.

"What!" I screamed back.

"If you don't love me back I'll let you leave. God dammit I was going to leave Sandy anyways I was planning on dumping her two nights ago but shit got in the way. I'm in love with you but you've been with Dallas. So if you can stand here and tell me you don't love me then fine! I'll let you go." He finished and my eyes were the only part of my still working. Tears continued to flow passionately but the rest of me was frozen.

"Well?" He was angry. I'm not sure if he was angry because he loved me or angry because I was trying to leave.

"Dallas.." was all I mumbled.

"Are you in love with Dally?" He asked sternly. I glanced at the gang while they stood there as shocked as I was.

"No.." I confessed.

"Are you in love with me?"

"Yes." My voice was weak and full of fear. Something I hadn't experienced since I was a child. I wasn't afraid of anything, except for Sodapop Curtis and the way he made me feel. That I feared deeply.

Soda didn't respond. A slight smirk appeared and disappeared and before I knew what was happening he kissed me. Hard and passionately.

And just like that I knew

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And just like that I knew.

I was never leaving Tulsa or Sodapop again.

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