Half a heart

chapter 17

a/n dont hate me I haven't updated in two months...

Baileys P.O.V

Jessica had me ride on the back of her bike while we rode home.

"How did you find out? That you two were... siblings?" A question I wondered since I found out."

"He stopped by the house before he moved into town. I was like ten, he was twelve." She answered.

I stood on the back porch while she pulled her bike into the garage.

"We didn't intend for you too find out that way. We were meeting to find out how, and when too tell you." She said as we snuck up stairs.

I lay on my bed replaying the last event over in my mind several times.

"We were also planning on who is going to adopt me." She broke the short silence.

"What?! What about your mom? What about us? Why can't you live with me?" I asked.

"My mom agreed to give me up, and Zachs mom agreed to take me in. You would still see me." She said.

"I just, I want you here, sleeping in my room, I have no friends and it's better when your here." I said.

"Zach, me...." She said.

"Jess, you live...d here, but how often will you sleep here, to comfort me when I shake at night?"

"Call me, bail, you saw how fast I rode to Zachs.... I can do that for you too..." Jessica swore.

"Okay, when?"

"Next week."

I breathed in.

"Well I never made promises I would last that long." I smiled.

"I hope that's a joke."

"Life's a joke."

We went to bed finally and I never wanted to wake up.

Well isn't that usual?

When I did wake up, it was to 15 missed calls and 10 repeated texts telling me to meet Zach at the park in 10 minutes.

He sent those an hour ago.

I grabbed my coat and ran out the house.

Sure enough he was still on his bench.

Shaking.

"Zach what's wrong."

"I have something to tell you."

"If you broke. I won't be mad. Sometimes we need to break in order to shine."

"Your insane." He laughed.

"Well I believe everyone's a great deal of insane, some people just hide it better than others. And the ones that don't, hide it better, end up in asylums." I smiled.

"This-what I have to tell you, is worse."

"Zach..."

"I'm moving. And we have to take Jessica with us."

My heart skipped.

I gulped and the world slowed.

"What?"

"Next week... I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was going too, but I couldn't bring myself to see you, like that..." He looked into my eyes.

I could barely see him. The world was blurring.

"This isn't a pain worth feeling Zach." I stood up throwing his hands down.

"Bailey there's always long distance!"

"And when I need you too hold me, you won't be there!" I yelled back.

"I can't stand being with out you Zach." I said. "The thought of you leaving is just, well I can't explain it but u can't leave me!"

"Bailey, it's not that simple, you think I want to leave? You think I have a choice?" I said. "If I could stay here I would. In fact id do anything to stay."

"If you'd do anything to stay, why haven't you." I said.

I teared up getting mad. He promised he wouldn't break, and he didn't, what he was doing was far worse.

"Bailey, you know it's not that easy." He glared at me.

It wasn't the fact he was leaving that I was mad about, it was the fact he never told me.

"Bailey, I don't want my last memories of us to be of us fighting over my moving away." He smiled and tried to take my hand. I pulled away.

He looked at me. Those perfect eyes leading me to a different world. Framed by his gorgeous red hair.

"We will make it work. I promise." He said. I couldn't look at him.

Instead I turned away.

If he wanted to make the relationship last he would've made an effort to keep me.

Or at least tell me sooner.

He would've chased after me.

He didn't.

I wouldn't let him persuade me.

Not now, not ever.

This was the end. It had to be.

Nothing could be worse, nothing could get better.

So it had to end.

I had to end.

So I did.

Or at least I tried.

I walked home scratching my arms.

A position I usually found myself in.

I climbed the stairs noticing no one was home.

I lay on my bed pondering how I could end my hell of a life.

Suffocation was nice, except when I passed out there was a chance I could still live.

I could stab myself, make it look like murder... But that would be hard and I don't want to feel even more pain, like that's possible.

Hanging myself, I didn't have a rope.

Loss in blood, again a useless pain I didn't deserve to feel.

I decided on pills.

It would randomly hit me.

One night I would go to sleep and never wake up.

Which was how I wanted to go.

And that night.

I ended my pain the way I should've ended it along time ago.

A/N ily...

So that happened.

I know your all hating on the author...

HANNAH GOT A WATTPAD!!!

FINALLY!! (The girl from the fanfic)

Check her out (fanfico2l)

SHE WROTE A YOUTUBER FANFIC SOO READ IT!!

Ily even tho you hate me but I still win :)

Xoxoxo-Jessica lee