Stay Alive --Hamilton Apocalypse AU--

.:5:.

Laurens

In the movies, the ones about the end of the world, there was always one line that John would look for. One of the characters would always say that they wanted to go back to when the world was simpler, back when zombies didn't roam the streets or aliens didn't wipe out the entire human race. He never thought much about those lines until he lived in that situation. 

He didn't want to go back to simpler times, he wanted to go back to more complex times. He wanted his old life back, the one where he had to watch what he was doing when he snuck out of the house because he didn't want his parents to know about his boyfriend. He longed for the complicated times when he would have to make a split-second decision about which friend to keep and which scholarships he'd take. His old life was complicated. It was full of secrets and choices and lies, which was the same for everyone on the planet. Nobody's life was a straight and perfect line where everything was obvious and easy to solve. 

Living in the apocalypse though? That wasn't complicated. 

His only job in the apocalypse was to stay alive, that was it. There weren't any lies to tell or sneaking out to see a secret boyfriend or choice between friends. His group was inseparable, there wasn't any need to lie, and he was one of the last surviving people as far as he could see. It was a simple life. Shoot the dead, eat what you can, stay in a group, don't die. 

Shoot the dead, eat what you can, stay in a group, don't die. 

It was his day to day life, shortened and compressed into one list of three- or four-word commands. 

He sat around a campfire in an opening of trees with his friends, all huddled around and eating their share of a box of pasta. They'd emptied out one of the shelves in a store not too far back. They still hadn't left the town yet because Lafayette felt like they hadn't looked hard enough. He insisted on staying, just for another day or two, to make certain that they weren't leaving behind any more survivors. 

Out of pure impulsivity and curiosity, John asked, "What do you guys miss most about the old world?" 

Everyone stared at him like he'd asked them to answer the meaning of life. 

Lafayette was the first to answer. "The people," he said thoughtlessly. "Walking down the street and smiling at a stranger, hot food, people doing nice things for other people." After a second of hesitation, he added, "I don't miss the lines for anything, though." 

Everyone laughed. Everyone who knew the Frenchman knew that he wasn't a fan of crowds. He didn't like it when people he didn't know tried talking to him and he definitely didn't like the rudeness some people had.

"I guess I miss the normality of it all," Hercules said with a shrug. "Everything seemed so normal, even if it wasn't. Eating fake colors and modified foods? Doesn't really seem like something a caveman would do, but our civilization thought it was the most normal thing to eat a brightly colored ice stick." 

"Yeah, I mean cave people would stay away from things like that, right?" John laughed. "Seems like the rule of nature was that if it's bright, it's probably poisonous." 

Everyone agreed with a laugh. 

"What about you, Burr?" Lafayette asked, shoving a forkful of plain noodles into his mouth. "What'd you miss most?" 

John knew what Aaron was going to say, he didn't even need to say it. Apparently, Lafayette did too, because he looked at the ground like he regretted the question. The laughter died out and was replaced with a stiff silence. 

"I think I'm going to turn in for the night," Burr said quietly, setting his paper plate of noodles down on the log he was sitting on. "We still have looking to do tomorrow." 

Nobody protested as he walked slowly to his tent. 

"Nice goin', Laf," John muttered. "Now he's gonna be even more reserved than usual."

"Is that even possible?" Hercules joked. John shot him a look that told him it wasn't a good time. 

They all knew what he was going to say when they asked what he missed most. There was no question with him. Before everything turned upside down, before the plague hit, Aaron Burr was one of the most content people Laurens had ever met. There wasn't anything that he would have changed about the life he was living and he made sure everybody knew that. 

At any given moment on any given day, Burr was talking about his wife or his daughter and how they were both the light of his life. They had Theodosia Jr. young and got married even younger, but everyone knew they were going to last. John had never seen a more perfect couple. That is to say, his wife and kid were definitely the part of the old world that he missed the most. John sometimes wondered how quickly Burr would turn if they ever found a cure for the plague, how quickly he'd trade the entire group for a chance to save the world. Of course, there wasn't really any they to develop a cure, so it wasn't that big of an issue. 

It's not that Burr wasn't happy as far as John could tell, he just missed the complicatedness of the world. He missed his family. 

John couldn't exactly relate, but he understood why Aaron felt the way that he did. 

The rest of the group, losing their original playfulness, put out the fire and went to their tents. Lafayette stayed and took the first watch as everyone else went to sleep.

John's final thought before he fell asleep was of the potential survivors they could find in the morning and what they'd do. The ground wasn't comfortable, but he fell into a dream about the old world as soon as his eyes closed.