The Real Diary

Entry no. 12

[published 10:08 pm 16/11/2014]

When I was young, about five years old, I went to the doctors. The doctor said that I was really stressed, unusual for someone so young. I denied anything she suggested that might have caused it. But I had a secret, I was being bullied at school, but as well at home.

I didn't know why everyone was so mean to me. I thought it was my personality or the way I looked. So I tried to change myself. That didn't work out so well; instead of becoming perfect, I became violent and bitter.

In grade four I met a girl who was nice to me. I thought she was just going to stab me in the back, like everyone else, so I pushed her away. But she was persitant. She forced herself into my life. I gave in. By grade seven, we were good friends and the bullying at home stopped. Soon she had introduced me to some of her friends from another class. We all became really close. They stood up for me when people bullied me. They protected me. The bullies stopped and left me alone.

As for my violence and bitterness, it slowly went away. By grade 9 I was nice, kind and caring. That same year, the girl introduced our group to a young Indian girl who had just moved to our town. Over the next two months the Indian girl became my best friend. We trusted each other very quickly and told each other our darkest secrets.

In grade 10, my best friend introduced me to a girl who was an amazing artist. The three of us bonded and became 'The Three Idiots'. We were so happy.

Near the end of first semester I was diagnosed with anxiety. It was so bad that I wasn't able to attend school for months. During those months the Indian and the artist started to drift apart and fight. I didn't learn about this conflict until it was too late.

They both still cared about each other very much, there was just these issues that they couldn't resolve, so they turned to me. I provided all I could, but it wasn't enough. I was stuck in the middle and I was still severely sick. I was under more stress than I ever was.

Finally one day the Indian girl invited us over to her house. We sat in her room while she told us something she never said before. Now all her secrets were out. That night they resolved their issues and became close friends again. A huge weight was lifted off all of us.

After that I started to attend a therapist. My stress lowered and my anxiety went uder control. For the first time in my life, everything was good. I am happy and still really good friends with everyone who've helped me along the way.

The moral of this story is keep moving on. No matter how things look and how horrible you feel, one day you will make it out. Don't give up on yourself. Someday, everything will get better.

{Guess who's back?? :) early update because can't wait anymore. The head got an iPod touch because she paid for it herself, but she doesn't know how to work the bold text on Wattpad on this device. Help, anyone?}

Updates are every Wednesday and Saturday (London time) unless the head is stupid and forgets.. This is in bold because of copy & paste!