Love on the Radio

Chapter 22 - Congratulations

A/N: I know it's so short, and I'm sorry, but it seemed so perfect, and the ending fit as well. 

Chapter 22 – Congratulations

Nervous?

No, what I was feeling wasn’t even close to nervous. I was…Whatever I was, I didn’t know what to name it. Definitely freaked out. Yes, a little bit nervous, but a deeper version of that. Excited? Well, can you be excited when you possibly might have a stalker? Wrong question, because technically, you can, because you still hope the stalker turns out to be hot. But I couldn’t think about hot, ‘creep’ was playing on my mind.

Who had taken the picture?

Or, maybe there were two of them. One who wrote the words, and the other, who took the photo of it. Maybe there was someone else – somebody who stole the camera for a second.

But if it was someone from my group of friends, it wasn’t stealing, right? It was then purely borrowing. Who the fuck would do such a thing? (Sorry for the use of language, but it’s not like the first time I’ve said ’fuck’. See? Two times ad counting, at least.)

“Just…drink a glass of water,” said Ramona, walking around the room, running her hand through her hair. “I…” She shook her head, biting on her upper lip, then her cheek, hen her lip, again. Howard was sitting beside me, rubbing my back, but it seemed like he was the one who needed to take a break and gulp down, I don’t know, maybe a liter of water with fifty spoonfuls of sugar. When everyone else was freaked out, scared, frightened, worried…whatever…what the hell was I supposed to do?

“It’s not a big deal,” Evan shrugged, flipping through the pages of a newspaper, “someone obviously likes you.” I was beginning to suspect him. “Creeps don’t usually dedicate music. They get a camera and find out where you live, and be all shadow-like behind your window, preferably behind your bedroom window.” He raised his head and looked at me.

I turned to him. “Yeah, thanks for softening the hit,” I said through gritted teeth, sarcastically, and rolled my eyes. “Now I know where to find creeps like yourself. Should I go check the bedroom now?”

“Sure,” he said in a I-don’t-care voice, “should I come with you?” He raised his eyebrow, a grin blossoming on his lips.

“Oh, please. Go on being immature. We definitely don’t need to be serious. Let’s go on about how fun this is. Let’s write a thank-you note and take a picture of it, so maybe the (I waved my hand in the air)-you know- will see my response,” I blurted out, angry at Evan. I felt my knuckles clench, and when I looked down, they were pale white. I tried to relax my hands, but it didn’t seem to work. I was upset.

“We can still go to the bedroom,” he said in a sing-song tone, continuing reading the newspaper.

“Shut up!” Ramona yelled, suddenly.

We all turned to her. Even Howard had woken up from his zombie sleep. He had stopped rubbing my back.

“Freaking hell! Just shut up!” She threw her hands up in surrender. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“Are you jealous?” Howard quietly asked, it was a silent whisper, but we all heard it.

Ramona’s eyes landed on him, there was a spark, but not a good kind of one. She looked evil, yet desperate. Maybe she desperately wanted to punch him, or worse. I felt Howard take my hand, I responded by entwining our fingers, and squeezed his hand to assure it was okay.

Then, she looked at Evan, whose eyes were big with horror. Hadn’t he seen Ramona like this? Weren’t they supposed to be friends? Friends are supposed to know everything about each other. Well, most of everything. (Did that make any sense?)

“I’m so going to kill you,” she mouthed, out of breath when she was finished. “Just tell her.” She gestured at me, eyes closed, as she took a deep breath.

I was…I don’t know what I was. Man, that feeling was really getting on my nerves. The feeling of unknown, something strange and faraway. Suddenly, my stomach was invaded with butterflies, or were they butterflies. But I heard wings flapping, for sure. “Tell me what?” I said in an unsure voice, not able to look at Evan. I dropped my head, removing my hand from Howard’s, and covered my face with my hands. “Do I even want to know?”

Ramona opened her eyes, but instead of glaring at Evan, she focused her gaze on Howard.

“Is it you?” Evan asked, standing up from the couch. I saw him walk over to Howard, I felt how my right side appeared empty. He had stood up. What was going on? Did I really want to know?

“It’s a meeting,” he reluctantly muttered. I lifted my head and stared at the boys.

“What?” was my first reaction. I slowly dropped my hands to my lap.

“It’s the clock time. A date. Just go and see for yourself,” said Howard and looked away, biting his lip.

“Go where? What date? With who?” I didn’t understand. I really needed information, as soon as possible.

“The freaking photo!” He yelled, totally losing his temper. “It has a time for a date in it! Fuck, can’t you see? I have been lying!” He still didn’t bare to look at me. Seeing me step forward, Evan took a step back, freeing the way. I stood in front of Howard. I wasn’t mad, I should’ve, though.

“It isn’t lying when you don’t say anything,” I said. Gently, I brushed the strands of hair from his face, caressing his cheek. He flinched at my touch.

“It is!” he pressed through his teeth. “I don’t deserve any kind of-“ He slapped my hand away, “-care.”

“Help me understand,” I said, searching for his eyes, “I don’t have to go.”

"Yes, you do. 22:35 under the tree in front of school." He pushed me away – enough strength to make me move, but just the right amount to not hurt me – and walked out of the door.

“No, Howard wait!” I screamed after him, ready to run if I had to, but Evan held me back.

“You wait. See if he cares,” he whispered in my hair, “Second chances are for those who suffer.”

“But I don’t want him to suffer,” I answered, it was barely audible.

“Maybe he’s not the one who has to,” he loosened the grip around me, but I didn’t leave his arms. I felt how my feet were giving up on me, a stab of pain shot right through my chest and I leaned to Evan, who supported me. “You are,” he ended his thought and helped me to the couch.

My mind was blank. Or maybe too many thoughts were running through, but I couldn’t separate them from one another. It was a mess. Evan wanted to leave me be, but I pulled him by the shirt back next to me. I let myself sob against his shirt, and even though it was an uncomfortable situation, I didn’t care. Do these kind of moments bring out the egoistic selves of people?

Slowly, he put his arm around me and pulled me closer, whispering ‘shh’ every now and then.

Where Ramona had disappeared, I had no idea of. All that mattered was this moment, and this moment only. I always thought the first time I’d be crying, was with someone I…(I couldn’t say the word, so instead-) liked.

“You think…there’s still a chance?” I asked between sobs, wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, and lifted my head just enough to see Evan’s face.

“Yes, I really think there’s a chance,” he nodded sweetly, and added (the part I didn’t hear), “but I’m kind of hoping not.”

 

Oh, and did I mention we won?

A/N: How fuggin' excited are you??? 'Cause I'm freaking out, in case you're wondering. If not, then, sorry I said it.