Love on the Radio

Chapter 23 - Madness

A/N: It's been long since my last update, but I just couldn't find the time to post. And internet failed me, and storm came to visit, so...yeah, I'm pretty disappointed myself. But I hope you enjoy this chapter. I don't know what you think of the turnout, but I sincerely believe, some of you are kinda OK with it :D Enjoy:)

Chapter 23 – Madness

What was it with best friends trying to fit into perfect clothes when it came to boys? If he really liked me, he would be fine with whatever I was wearing. I know I wanted to look the best I could, but my senses had stayed clear, I couldn’t help but think logically.

Jenna was circling me, frowning, then smirking, then tilting her head. I beginning to doubt her skills, or maybe I was just a bad model – not special enough, just ordinary. At that moment, I hated dress-up. It was like when we went to the party, where I had to stop Howard from fighting. The time where I accidentally ripped his shirt when I grabbed it to stop him. Or was it really an accident? Maybe my evil self wanted to do it, but it just didn’t occur to me. Anyways, it was like that time, because like then, I was feeling insecure – not that it didn’t happen other times – and weird. There weren’t exactly butterflies in my stomach, but I was pretty sure a couple of frogs were jumping around, making me feel nauseas and shaky.

“Mads, you look beautiful,” Jenna rolled her eyes and landed on the bed, “like I even needed to say that.” She grabbed a magazine from the bedside table and started flipping the pages. “I wonder why your mom never forced you into modeling. You’d be a billionaire if she had.”

“Come on, stop exaggerating,” I shook my head and turned to the mirror. I sighed and straightened the t-shirt I had borrowed from Jenna. “You think it’s too casual?”

“Nope,” she briefly said, not even looking at me, “I do think it’s a bit scary.” She stopped flipping the pages and lifted her head. “I quote ‘scary kids scaring kids’ – maybe it’s not the message you want to send. He might mistake you for a weirdo.”

“Thank you, captain obvious! But it’s not my shirt,” I threw my hands up, and winced my nose when the perfume I had put on came onto me like a wave. “Shall I remind you that he hasn’t been quite the nice, either? Dedicating songs, and basically spying on me, isn’t normal.”

“No superhero is ever normal,” she said in a ‘duh’ voice, and gestured with her hands. “I’m just saying. Don’t shoot the messenger. Besides, Howard isn’t very normal, and you still liked him! Again, don’t shoot the messenger. Plus, I never forced you to put this on. I was well-prepared to wipe the floor with it, if needed.”

She was right. Partly. Being normal is overrated. We all need imperfections. She was right about the superhero part – that guy may as well be a superhero, and that’s maybe what I need, because I already have a monster I am – was – trying to save. Breakups suck.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” Jenna asked, standing up from the bed. “I can see it, how it’s plastered on your face. The slowly fading glow. Man, you really liked him. But I feel like you didn’t show it to each other that much. I mean – you should see George and Lilly. It seems freaky how they throw pillows at each other, or play with each others hair, or even have a food fight! – insane – but they look so happy and overjoyed when they do it. It makes me so jealous. And no offence, though Howard is a bad guy and mega hot, I wasn’t jealous of you.”

“Well, Howard wasn’t exactly jealous when I was half-flirting with others. Before we were official, then yes, but after,” I shook my head in disappointment. “Maybe it’s the same with every guy. Maybe I’m hopeless. Maybe I’m just something to want, not keep.”