all the love // H.S au (university series)

dining room table

"Maria, is it possible for me to call my mom?" I asked hopefully. 

Maria came to visit to discuss some more security options and update me on my father's whereabouts. All three of us, Irene, Maria and I were slouched over the dining room table in stress and frustration. 

"Yeah, of course. She is expecting a call from you today anyway." Maria said nonchalantly. She slid her phone across the table to me with the number ready to dial. I picked up the phone and walked into the other room to have some privacy with my mom. 

I sat down on the couch but I wasn't comfortable with it. I felt like I should be with her. I miss her so much. I looked down to the illuminated screen in my hands and counted backward from three. 

three. 

two. 

one. 

ring ring ring. ring ring ring.

The line rang three more times until my heart swelled with joy and panic all at the same time. 

"Hello?" My mother's sweet voice rang through the other end. "Belles? Is that you?" 

"Hi mom," I said. I could hear the smile in my voice. "How are you? Are you okay?" 

"I'm good, sweetheart. How are you? Have you heard more about Pete?" She asks concerned. Pete was my father. My mom preferred to call him his first name instead of "your dad" because it just makes her feel more comfortable I think.

"Um, only what Maria told me. He has leads on both of our whereabouts. Mom, I don't want to be relocated. That's what Maria keeps saying to me. It would be the best safety precaution and all. I like it here with Irene. We have a good set up and I'm starting to make some good friends." I confess to my best friend, my mom. 

"I know mija. It breaks my heart knowing you never got a stable place to grow up. You make your case to Maria, I want you to live where you want to live. Tell her relocating is not an option and you can work out other safety precautions. Now that you are no longer a minor, mija, you can do these things. Please be safe though." 

"Of course I will be safe, mom. Thank you. What have you been told about Pete?" 

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much, sweets. He would have to try awfully hard to get all the way over here. And, it would be nearly impossible for him to choose which one of us to come after. I hate that we have to be apart, but I understand it's a necessity." 

My mom is one of the bravest people in the world. She would be sorted Gryffindor for sure. Of maybe Ravenclaw because she is so intelligent, or Hufflepuff, for her kind eyes. Or Slytherin even, because she is so hardworking and diligent. Shes basically all the best things in the world but in one person. She has just had some awful experiences in her life. 

Her mom, my abuelita, died after giving birth to Irene in Mexico City. There was a complication with the procedure and she bled to death. I know auntie Irene blames herself for her mother's death because maternity is such a huge theme in her artwork. My mother's dad, my Nonno, came straight out of Italy. He was a hardworking man and the best Nonno a girl could ever ask for. He was a really good dad to my mom and her sister too. He worked so hard as a leather craftsman and a shoe repairman just to support his children. He moved at the age of eighteen to Mexico after meeting my abuelita while she traveled Europe on a trip with all her friends. My grandparents stayed in Mexico until my abuelita's death, and then my Nonno moved to Minnesota to raise his two daughters near the Mississippi River. He used to take me on walks down the river every Sunday, and we would stop and get ice cream from the deli near downtown. It was our tradition, just me and my Nonno. My Nonno died on a spring Sunday morning. 

When my mom was growing up in Minnesota, she was troubled by the loss of her mother. As anyone would me. As she grew older she began to run with a not so Minnesota nice crowd. She fell in love with Pete when she was sixteen. He was wild, with tattoos of snakes all up and down his arm. He lived in a trailer park not far from her high school and they had a wild and crazy love story. Until the love died. 

Pete began drinking heavily. Soon his alcohol addiction worsened and he experimented with other substances, such as opiates. Just before he spiraled, my mom befell pregnant with his child, me. I think that is one of the reasons he is the way he is. He began beating my mom as soon as she announced her pregnancy to him. It was awful, from the accounts she shared with me. Worse than I have ever experienced, and I have experienced enough to send me across an ocean from him. I cannot believe the resiliency my mother has. 

Thinking about this, I didn't realize I was sobbing, still on the phone with my mother.

"Oh Mija, it's okay, it's alright. What is bothering you? Why are you crying like this?" She asked so concernedly. 

Maria stepped into the room and sat next to me, rubbing my back as my body racked in sobs. I could not help it anymore. I just couldn't stop crying. I think this was a cathartic release my mind and body really just needed. 

"Hon, Isabelle, I have to head out now. May I please have my phone back?" Maria asked very kindly. That was odd. I nodded my head yes and began to deepen my breaths, trying to gain control of my body.  

"Mom, I have to go now. I'm sorry I'm crying like this over our phone call." 

"It's okay my love. I will speak with you soon. Love you mija." 

"Love you too Ma. Bye" I said, wiping the tears that made their way to my chin. I hung up and gave the tearful phone back to Maria. She wiped it off on her skirt which made me giggle for some reason. 

"I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but think about my proposal. Relocating is the safest option for you at the moment." Maria said disdainfully. 

"Maria. Relocating is the absolute last resort option and will only relocate if my life is in critical danger. I am sick of hopping around the world trying to run from a man like he still controls my life. I need to regain my control over my life. Understand?" I said in complete frustration. maria just nodded her head yes. She made her way back into the kitchen, and I fell defeated on the couch. That body raking sobbing really took it out of me. 

I heard Auntie Irene let Maria out so I finally mustered up the strength to get up and walk to the kitchen, where Irene was. I fell into her arms and hugged her tight. I needed support from my family right now.  Just as I was letting her go and wiping the mascara from under my eyes, my phone rang. It was Helena. I rolled my eyes and answered the Facetime call. 

"Woah, you look like shit." She exclaimed. "You okay?" She asked once she realized I had been crying. I took a seat at the dining room table again. 

"Well, sort of." I started. I began to explain everything Maria and my Mom told me, my weird sobbing experience and love for my *supportive* family. Helena knows a lot about my situation, and it is so nice to have a friend to talk about it with. 

"Hey, well it sounds like you could really use a girls night. I'll come over with some Rosè and Gelato. You pop a pizza in the oven and let's chill all day."

"That sounds so lovely, I'll see you soon," I said and hung up. I got up from the dining room table to fix myself a cup of tea to relax my nerves.