all the love // H.S au (university series)

kissy

Harry had taken me home after my appointment and didn't stay around long because he had to get his things together for a writers workshop. I had asked him more about it but he didn't seem interested in sharing. It's not that I was prying or anything, just curious. His diligence to his work reminds me of the artistic abilities of my Aunt Irene. I decide to head into her studio space to take a peek at what she's been working on recently.

I throw my cardigan off at the door of her studio, not wanting to get it full of ink or paint. I walk inside to see parchment, canvas, and paper all full of new illustrations depicting lovers. They were messy, rushed and intimate. All of it in intricacies of thin and thick linework. Some of the lovers were men, some women, some were neither and some were both. All of them were kissing, and I loved it. I sat in front of one of the larger ones that took up a three-foot canvas. It was so beautiful I couldn't stop staring at it. I felt as if I were in awe. I realized that sometimes Harry makes me feel this exact same way. I recognize this feeling, and it terrifies me. I feel exhausted, from the little tiff and conversation Harry and I had earlier, from the therapy that went well but still had me feeling drained, and from recognizing that I really do have real feelings for Harry. I need a distraction. So I leave the studio, taking one last glance at my favorite illustration, and prod my way through my massive bookshelf. I pull out something, anything, to get my mind off of me and my life and into something else more interesting. I snuggle up close with a blanket and a book in my hand and quickly fall asleep to the words of Annie Dillard coursing through my head.
—
The next few days had been uneventful at the most. Helena and I had gone for lunch, we went to classes (I, of course, in secret), and had picked up a few shifts from the diner below my apartment. I was trying desperately to keep myself busy, but Harry was always on my mind. I had forgotten about the little book club we had joined together, so on a boring Thursday night, I speed read the book we had all decided on. It was a mystery thriller, one of my least favorite genres, but it felt good to expand my horizons. I made sure to write down my ideas of main themes and tropes used and collected my thoughts on what I had just read. My brain was still wondering around about Harry and what he had planned for us tomorrow night. He told me it was a secret surprise, so naturally, I am fucking nervous. I don't usually do well with surprises and they usually leave me in a rattled nervous mess. So I called Helena. 

"Hey bitch, what's good." She states over the phone. 

"So friendly, aren't you?" I scoff, "Look, can I talk to you for real right now?"

"Of course, shoot." 

"Well, Harry has some date planned for us tomorrow night and I'm fucking nervous. Like, I need to take a double dose of my anxiety meds, nervous. He said it was a secret surprise but you know I don't fuck with that type of stuff. I don't know what to wear, where we're going, how out late we'll be-"

"Woah, Belles, chill a second. Breathe baby, breathe." Helena soothes over the phone. "You will be fine, Harry is a smart boy. He actually came and asked me where to take you, so I know you'll have fun." 

"Oh my god, Helena! You backstabber! Tell me where we're going I'm freakin out." I demand over the phone, really pissed off that she would withhold that information from me. 

"Belles, listen to me. I'm not telling you any details, nothing. You just have to trust me and trust Harry, that you will have the time of your life tomorrow. So why don't you go light a blunt and run a bath, okay? I'll come over tomorrow to help you get ready. It's always easier to be social before a date, I think." Helena reassures me. 

"Okay, thank you. I'm sorry I can't help it sometimes." 

"I know you can't booboo, that's why I'm here. Now seriously, go relax before you pop a blood vessel or something."