The Nerd Has Benefits (BoyxBoy)

| ZAC |

Chapter 45

I stare at Matt while he is busy cooking breakfast. I couldn't help but let out a smile. The thought of waking up in the morning and you see a nerd cooking for you simply defines a perfect morning itself.

I still couldn't handle the fact that I kissed. yes, I kissed him. I'm not proud of it neither guilty about it. Ever since last when Xander and I talked about liking men, I couldn't stop thinking about Matt.

I feel bad for Xander. I told him to stop his feelings for me cause our relationship ain't going nowhere if theres this awkwardness between us. He should just move on and forget his feelings for me.

He is just confused. That's it. My bestfriend isn't gay, he is just simply experimenting. Right?

I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts. The thought of him seeing me as something more than a friend...is.....weird.

All this time he had feelings for me and he watched me getting on with those girls. I wonder what's going on inside his mind at those times? Oh yeah, he was fucking with Kevin Mortin.

That motherfucker piece of shit. It's always a competition when it comes to me. He takes all the things that I have including Xander. He knew damn well that Xander and I have a history together and he went out and fucking him.

Fuck you Kevin! Fuck to the you!

"Uhh. Zac. Hey, your food is ready." Matt says as he handed out the plate infront of me. I snapped out of my thoughts and stare at him.

I nodded in approval. "Sorry, I was busy thinking about something." I said. He nods then walks back to the kitchen.

I look down at the food. Bacon,egg, and pancakes. Your typical breakfast food.

"Here's the syrup and a fork." Matt says. He hands out the syrup and the metallic fork towards me. I slowly snatched it away from his hands.

I open the lid of the syrup container and squeeze it on top of the pancakes then I close it and handed it back to Matt. I stab one of the pancakes into my mouth and let the flavor invade me tastebuds. Yum. Honey.

I watched Matt eat his own breakfast. God, he looks mesmerizing without his glasses. Those hazel eyes are just breathtaking.

He stares at me with an eyebrow raised. "What are you staring at?" He asks me as he took another bite of his pancake. I shook my head in response.

"Your eyes. They are really beautiful." I said. He blushed a little and looks away from me as he slowly chews on his food. "Yours are beautiful too..." He says.

"Not as beautiful as you." I said.

He stop chewing and looks at me dumbfounded. "Thanks... I-I guess." He says.

It was an awkward silence for the next ten minutes. I look at Matt once again. His morning hair looks so sexy. It's so messy, yet so stunning.

I never seen him so attractive before. If he tried to be good looking as me, he could be one. If he could just  add some muscles on his lanky body, it could be all good.

Those pinkish lips. I know I sound like a pervert, but I do this when I'm really attracted to someone. I could just kissed him all day.

"Your staring makes me uncomfortable." He says he keeps eating his food. I let out a small chuckle.

"Sorry, you're really just fucking attractive. You look so sexy with that messy hair of yours." I said and winks at him.

"Your flirting is so cliche." He says as he rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but you seem to like it." I said with tease.

He blushed again. I couldn't help but chuckle. "I really like you Matt. This flirting isn't a joke to begin with." I said.

He looks away and sighs quietly. "I don't want to talk about this right now Zac." He says as he rubs his knuckles with frustration.

"No, we need to talk about this. I don't want you thinking that I only kissed you for fun. I want us to be serious." I said. He shooks his head.

"I can't take this seriously Zac. We only knew each other for like four months or so. Apart of being classmates, we barely know each other." He says.

I didn't say anything. He's right, but...

"But we could make this work!! Those four months is enough to make this work.... an-"

"And what? and then regret this when both of us failed on this relationship? What if you months later you realized that you can't commit or even worse?! What if you wanted to be with a woman all along?" He says as he stood up from his seat.

"I am a boy Zac. If you don't even recognize that from the start. What you feel for me might even last for a single month because you want this to work even it ain't even worth working in the first place. You despise gay people so much and now you want to be with the guy?!" He continues to say.

My entire body freezes in shock. Was he right? No. I am willing to change if he wants me to change. Right?

"I am as confused as you Matt. I've spend the last four months asking myself that. Why I am so attracted to you. Why I find you so different. Don't you think I hadn't gone the same problem too?!" I asks as I stare into his hazel eyes. 

He snickers and rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms. "Bullshit." He says.

"Fine, you don't believe me? Suit yourself." I said. I quickly stand up from the chair. I quickly walk towards the living room.

"Where are you going?" He asks as he follows me.

"I need to think. I need to breathe." I said as he approach the door and opened it, but before walking out, I look at him with a determined look.

"I am serious about you Matt. I am willing to go through everything just to gain your trust. I want this relationship and somewhere inside your heart, you want us to be together too." I said.

Then I proceed to walk to the main road, waiting for a taxi so I can get my car on the school's parking lot.

I am willing to do everything. Call me dramatic, but when I want something, I want it and I want Matt.

and that's the risk I have to take.