Something Great (Sequel to Something Borrowed)

Chapter 14: Baby I Loved You First

A/N: I've been working my butt off day to bring you all this chapter. I'm really self conscious about it since the POV's are switched. Please feel free to let me know if Michael's POV sound overly girly or feminine. I've been reading on how to write the male POV but anyway, here's Michael's POV!

Michael

 I’m forty-two years old. Not very old but not very young either. I knew for sure I was too young to be suffering from hearing loss but at that moment I felt as if I needed my ears checked. I didn’t hear those words correctly.

“Repeat that.” I commanded. Well, it sounded more like a question than command. Erin sighed, her blue eyes meeting mine. “From now on, let’s just be friends.” She repeated. Well damn, I think I’ve just been friend zoned.

There wasn’t enough words in the dictionary to describe how I feel right now. In fact, I can’t even describe how I feel. “You’re kidding, right?” I asked hoping to find a note of humor in her voice or that mischievous twinkle she had in her eyes whenever she was joking around. “No Michael, I’m serious.” Erin replied. I’m confused on so many levels. After all these years I thought she wanted me and now she’s friend zoning me?

“But Erin, I thought you wanted us to more than friends?” I asked. She sighed. “I did Michael; I wanted it so badly for many years. Too many to be exact. I mean, I’ve wasted my most of my life wishing for something that was never going to be.” Erin replied staring me straight in the eyes. Was she saying that we could never be together? She was really staring me dead in my face and telling this. I don’t believe it. “Erin, it can be and it will be if you would just give me a chance.”  I exclaimed.  Erin sighed again and grabbed both for my hands. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m in a relationship now and I’m very happy. It makes no sense at all to try to recapture the past when I can enjoy the present.” She replied simply.

I think I’ve finally found the word to describe how I feel. Stunned. “Sometimes the past is worth recapturing.” I protested. Erin shook her head. “It’s been 15 years Michael. You had plenty of time to change your mind and you didn’t. It’s time for me to move on and be happy for once.” She replied. She could be happy. With me. “I wasn’t going to leave Brooke for you.” I blurted. Oh boy, I’ve really put my foot in my mouth this time. I didn’t mean to say it but in a way it was true. I was much too comfortable in my marriage to make any changes.

An expression of hurt flashed in her eyes. “Exactly. I’ll always be your second choice.” Erin replied bluntly. Ouch. The words sounded so cold and harsh coming out of her mouth and made me feel like a huge ass. It wasn’t true. Erin will always be the first girl I ever loved.

“I didn’t mean that Erin. I didn’t.” I tried to convince her.  Erin let go of my hands. She smiled but I could tell something about it wasn’t genuine. “It’s okay Michael. It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. I respect your feelings and I wouldn’t want to lead you on when it obvious that I plan to stay with Jacob for awhile.  It certainly wouldn’t be fair to him and I don’t wanna be the girl to break his heart again.” She replied. So he’s been cheated on before? The bastard probably did something to deserve it.

“Just because we’re not together as a couple doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’ve always loved you.” Erin declared. I swear this is déjà vu.  I said the exact same thing to her about 10 minutes before I got married to Brooke.  I sighed running a hand through my hair. “I love you too Erin. More than you’ll ever know.” I meant that. I really meant that. She smiled again then nodded. “Friends?” Erin asked. I sighed. “If that’s what you want Erin.”  I replied simply. I didn’t agree with this. I didn’t agree with any of it. She smiles. One of the prettiest smiles in the world. Erin pulls me in for a hug before leaving the kitchen. I just found another word to describe how I feel. Pissed.

All these years I was certain she wanted me and now she just wants to be friends? All because of that dick boyfriend of hers. Erin throws all this crap in my face about how it’s been fifteen years and I had time to change my mind but what about her? She had plenty of time to tell me how she felt. There was high school, college, after college. But she was silent the whole time. I assumed she wasn’t interested in me and moved on the closest thing I could get to Erin- Brooke. What an ass assuming made out of me.

I just stood in the kitchen for a while hoping to blow off some steam. I never let others around me  know that something was bothering me. Collecting my composure, I went back into the living room. Everyone seemed overly happy or maybe I was just super pissed.  I gruffly plopped back down in my chair. First thing I noticed was Erin and Joe-or whatever the hell his name is, cuddled up on the sofa. The sight was sicking and made me boiling mad.  It just didn’t feel right seeing my Erin with another man. It wasn’t fair. I should have been me with my arms around her. He was in my rightful place.

What did this Jim guy know about her?  I knew what went on inside of Erin’s brain. I knew the words she wanted to say when she couldn’t say them. I knew about the birthmark behind her ear and her secret obsession with sappy romance novels. But most importantly, I was there from the start and I had loved her first.