Can't Remember To Forget You | Grayson Dolan

21.

The day of Lauren's car crash.

"Hey, yeah. I am in my car. Don't worry, I am coming." I  was on the phone with my boyfriend Cameron. "Wait, I need to put my hands-free so we can talk."  I was at a red light , so I took my headphones out of my bag and I plugged them in my phone. "Done. Do you hear me good?" 

"Yep,babe. You better get your ass here fast because I am already at the parking lot of the college and it is full with people. " Cameron said. 

The thought of so many people at one place made me sick. Today me and Cameron were visiting the local college to have a look at it. Cameron wanted us to go there together. Again, the thought of it made me feel even worse. Grayson came in my mind. Right now, both of us are in a really messed up situation. It is been months since Grayson and I started secretly seeing each other Cameron's back. 

"Babe,babe do you listen to me?" Cameron's voice which came from my phone, brought me back to the reality and out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah. It is just that the traffic is really bad and I need to pay more attention to the road. How about I call you when I am closer?" I lied to him , wanting to end this conversation.

"Yeah, sure. Love you and drive safe." he sent me a kiss through the phone. 

"Me too. Bye." I quickly hung up and  moved my eyes back on the road. My phone rang again , I rolled my eyes thinking it was Cameron, who forgot to tell me something , but when I looked at my phone I saw Grayson's name written on the screen. I picked up. 

"You talk way too much on that phone. I have been trying to call you for 20 minutes." Grayson laughed, he sounded like he had something in his mouth.

"Sorry, Gray. Cameron was  keeping me on the phone. You know how much he loves talking on the phone for hours when he is bored." 

"Yeah.. Well, what are you doing? How about you come over or I can come if there is no one at yours?" I could imagine the seductive look he had on his face , while saying that. I really wanted to turn around and drive to him , but I knew that I could not to that. 

I cleared my throat. "Um.. I am busy right now. Later at night?" 

"Busy? With what?" 

I stayed quiet hesitating whether I should tell Grayson that I was on my way to take a look at a college that my boyfriends dreams of us getting in, graduating and having kids who will also study there.

"Lorra? Answer me."

"I-I am on my way to Cameron. He wanted us to visit one college since you know.. senior year is coming next year and -" 

"You are visiting colleges with Cameron? Are you planning on going in the same college as him? Or you planning on you two going together?" Grayson's was angry. I knew that would happen. 

"It is not like that, Gray" I tried to sound calm and soft, but I was becoming nervous and anxious. 

"Then what it is like?"

"What do you expect me to do?" I raised my voice. "If you haven't noticed I am still with Cameron, he still thinks that everything between us is absolutely perfect and he is completely clueless that I am fucking his best damn friend.. who , by the way, loves playing hot and cold with me." 

"What are you trying to say , Lorra? You could have always thought of  a way why you couldn't go visiting colleges with him and planning your future together."  Grayson yelled through the phone.

"What is the big deal with the college? It is not like I am going to be with him then.."

"We have taken this way too far.." he stayed quiet for a second, probably shutting his eyes, trying to calm down. I started driving faster as if I wanted to escape something, but at the same time I was going directly to my trap with Cameron.

" Are you concerned about something with me ? I mean.. do you have doubts that I might choose not to break up with Cameron and leave you behind? Is that why you are always like that? One time you are keeping me close, you are talking about us being together and the next moment you are cold and distant?.." I was talking fast, not giving him the opportunity to cut me off, knowing damn well he wanted to do so. He is afraid I know him so well, he is afraid that I got under his skin, he is trying not to break his heart by trusting me. Little does he know, I feel the same way with the little difference that I trust him to be there when I fall.  

"You know how I feel. I want you Lorra, every bone in my body wants you, you are constantly on my mind , it is like .. I am blind for any other girl. Like they don't exist. It is you and you know that for me it is you even though I don't say it. But how can I trust you that is the same for you considering the fact that you are still.. Cameron's girlfriend. I know we agreed on making our way through this together, but I am not the one that is in that relationship." 

"Are you trying to say that I am avoiding breaking up with him? Cuz' as far as I remember you are the one who tries to save a friendship that it is doomed to come to an end if you choose to be with me."

"Of course I will choose you , Lorra! I am in love with you , don't you get it? I love you." I could feel the pain in his voice. All of this was becoming too much to handle with time. It was all fun and games, until we caught feelings. It was all just a stupid mistake that we continue to make again and again , and for some reason we could not stop, although we knew it was wrong..it was a mistake until being with Grayson felt like the most right thing to do. We had fucked up bad. "Say something..please. Tell me what I want to hear, Lorra." 

Tears started to appear in my eyes, I covered  my mouth with my hand so I could muffle my sobs.

"You don't love me , do you?" his voice became angrier and more aggressive. 

"I would do anything for you , Grayson." for some reason I could not make myself say those 3 words. I felt it, I really did, but I could not say it directly.

"Bullshit.." he laughed through the phone

"Grayson, don't-" he cut me off yelling. 

"No, Lauren, you don't! Don't say anything at all!" 

I haven't realised when I  had started driving way too fast. I could barely take the turns with the speed I was going. 

"What do you want me to do to prove it? I would do anyth-" I was crying, my emotions overtook me. I couldn't see the road very good and when I was about to take a turn I lost control over my car. "- shit.." I yelled grabbing the wheel.

With an extremely high speed my car crashed directly at a tree.

   ➸ Thank you for reading! VOTE AND COMMENT FOR MORE! This was a flashback chapter for y'all. ;) As you can see..Grayson and Lauren really didn't know how to communicate properly with each other. Hope you enjoyed it! Share your thoughts of it in the comments. 30+ votes and 150+ reads for the next chapter.