We don't belong here. (BVB)

Chapter Twenty-one

Recap:

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**Shania's POV**

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As the night went on we watched movies, I crashed on their bus. I dident talk to them, It just felt useless to talk. As I was laying in the bunk I cried at the flashbacks, from the past two weeks clouded my every thought. Then one thing popped into my head. I had to pick between Naomi or CC. what the hell am I going to do?

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Chapter Twenty-one: **Shania's POV**

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I ended up not sleeping at all so instead of forcing myself to I decided to listen to some music and go swimming. I went to the bathroom looking at my self in the mirror all I seen was a pale ghost. I grabbed a razor from the cupboards and broke it in half. I pulled my shirt off and looked in the mirror again.

"your so disgusting you should of stayed in the basement." I said to myself as I pushed the razor against my stomach. I watched as the blood ran down. The crimson red stands out against my pale white skin. I continued cutting till I had about 17 cuts. I went back to the bunk and grabbed a towel and changed into a swim suit that I had on the botdf bus I grabbed my phone and head phones, I then went back to the bathroom and grabbed the razor. I headed to a beach I looked at my phone seeing its only 4 AM. I know I'll be alone. I put my head phones in and walked. once I reached the beach I laid on the ground and got the razor I made at least 20 more cuts and went into the water. I floated on my back just letting the pain consume me. I deserve all this pain. I'm a whore, a slut, I deserve all the pain that was givin to me. I'm useless.

"Hey, you out there what are you doing." I herd a male voice say,  I looked up and seen glowing eyes. I knew exactly who it was. Fuck.

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**Mathews POV**

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I looked at my phone to see the time, it was about 4 AM and I couldn't sleep. "fuck it I'm going on a run" I said to myself. I got out of my bunk and changed into running cloths, I then put my glow in the dark contacts in, I grabbed my cell and headphones. I put them in my ear, started my music and began running. after a couple mins I found myself at a beach. I looked close and seen a body floating, I couldn't see well seems how it was dark out still.

"Hey, you out there what are you doing?" I asked as I walked closer to the water. When the person looked at me I couldn't belive who I seen. "S-Shane?" I asked trying my best not to cry. Am I seeing things?

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**Shania's POV**

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"S-Shane?" I herd him ask

"yeah Mathew it's me." I said while getting out of the water.

"Omg It is you!" he said as he ran and hugged me getting his self soaked in the process. I nodded my head in response.

"How? When?" he asked

"I escaped yesterday night and called jeffree I spent the night on their bus but couldn't sleep so I went on a walk and decided maybe swimming could help relax my nerves" I said.

"we missed you." he said hugging me again. I nodded again

"I missed you guys too."

We sat at the beach while he talked and I just nodded when ever he asked me a question. I still dident feel the use of talking. Once it began getting light out We decided to walk back I threw my cloths on and we walked back to the venue.

"are you going to come back to our bus?" Mat asked I nodded my head yes

"okay" he said I sent a quick text to jeffree telling him I'll be at "TO's" bus. he replied okay.

When we arrived to the bus I sat on the sofa and pulled my legs to my chest and Mat Sat across from me watching me

"does anyone else know of your return?" he asked I shaked my head no.

"okay, want me to text bvb, sws, aa to come to our bus?" he asked once again I nodded my head yes.

"okay" he said and began texting. I pulled my sleeves up and traced my cuts on my arms. I don't know why I do it to myself but I do. after what seems forever Mathew spoke up.

"wanna watch some tv?" he asked I shrugged my arms but kept my attention to my arms.

"okay I guess I'll put spongebob on..." he said, I just shrugged again. once he turned the tv on I herd movement in the back, soon I seen Justice coming threw.

"Matt babe it's 7am why the he'll are you watching spongebob,  you hate Spongebob." Justice said as he sat next to Matt

"oh hey Shane." Justice said as he cuddled to Matt, once it clicked Justice turn to me in shock

"OMG SHANE????" he yelled I nodded a yes. Next thing I know Naomi is walking out of the back room, once she sees me she stands still almost frozen

"S-Shane? is that you?"

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Hey guys sorry for a slow update. um but here you go I know it sucks sorry. love you though <3

-666gothlicangel