Within The Heart (Short Story)

Within The Heart 9

        I packed a few things. Mainly things I knew I would need. I put on my shoes and tied my hair up. I felt dirty and used. My tears ran down my face and he didn't give a damn. My head was spinning, and honestly, I felt like my life was really over. What else could go wrong? 

        I didn't know where I was going. But at this point, any where was better then here. I made my way out of my room without trying to make any sounds. I looked around and found him sleeping on the chouch.And once I walked out that front door, I ran. As fast as I could. I didn't look back and I wouldn't. 

        I wouldn't stop. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. And the worset part was that, I would never be able to look at myself the same. 

        When I was far enough from the house, I stopped. I sat down next to a lake where kids were with their family's, playing around. I felt like I was slowly dying. I felt like I had nothing to live for. Nothing at all. And no matter how hard I tried not to cry. I did anyways. I cried and cied, and didn't give a damn who was around.

        I didn't know what I was going to do now. I didn't know who to call or who to go to. I didn't know who to trust or who not to. I didn't understand none of this. And at this point, at this very moment, I wanted to die. All my life I've been hurting people, I've pushed people away. 

        I guess I'm paying for what I made other people go through. And if could go and look each person in the face and ask for forgiveness, I knew it wouldn't do any good. Because I already lost the most importent thing to me. And I was never getting that back. I was never going to see them again. My family..

        It's funny, isn't it. How one moment you can have everything you could dream of and then have it taken away from you in a heart beat. 

        And thats when it hit me. I was alone. All alone. And I had no way to find confort. No way to find freedom. I felt stuck. 

        I got up, not knowing where I was going. But just walking. Letting my feet take control and take me where ever its taking me. 

I hope its my death bed.

        Pretty soon they will realize Im gone. Pretty soon they will wonder what happen. Pretty soon they start looking for me. And pretty soon I'll be broken down by my fears and tears. 

        The sky was dark. The moon rising. I wonder what time it was, but didn't have a watch on me. And what I wonder the most, who would care that Im gone? Who would care that I've left without any reason's or even a letter. Who would care enough to come after me.

        Yes, who would care?

Come after me.

        But I had to have hope, because I knew I wasn't all alone. I knew I had god by my side.