Scrubs and Angels (Bastille/Dan Smith)

Chapter 2 - Phoebe

After what seems like the longest drive ever I finally pull up at the apartment block. Exiting and locking my car I begin the trek up the stairs tithe four floor. My legs ache as I reach the doorway, but I finally make it there, to the apartment door. I fiddle around with my keys for a moment before finding the right one and opening the door. I am greeted by the sight of my two housemates in a deep make-out session.

"Logan, Ana, seriously guys get a room." I announce in an annoyed tone. I watch them guiltily drag themselves up from the couch and into Logan's bedroom as I walk into my room and collapse onto my bed. The way my two housemates were so in love, upset me, made me think of him, Nick. I could hardly help but fall into a state of depression again, changing myself was going to be a lot harder than expected. I stared around my room desperately, but as always everything seemed that every goddam object reminded me of Nick. The tears ran down my face again, I turned to my only escape. I plugged in my headphones and out flowed Dan's voice. I always seemed to find that the one thing that got me through this insomnia was his voice. It seemed to distract me, wash away my thoughts. It seemed as though I had been lying on my bed for countless hours before I heard footsteps enter my room.

"Phoebe, not again." Ana sighs in disappointment. "Look I know what happened between you two was big, but this has been going on for two and a half months, you need to move on." I stare up at her my eyes watery but I make no attempt to reply. Ana brushes her messy brown hair behind her ear and begins to walk off.

"Wait," I say stopping her in her tracks. "I got offered a project today, managing tours for a band." I see her face light up and she turns and leans into hug me.

"Wow, that's amazing." She exaclaims "You are on the way to getting your life back." I smile at her words, before it falters into a frown. This catches Ana's eye and her face sprouts a surprised expression.

"Yeah but it means.." I stumble over my words "That I have to be away from you guys. After losing Nick, you and Logan seemed like the only people I had left, I don't know if I'm able to say goodbye to you two." As the last words fall out of my mouth I am comforted by Ana's warm grip.

"It's okay." She comforts me, beginning to look upset as well "I have faith that you can yourself and become strong again without our help." We stay in each others arms for a little longer before Ana heads back out to greet an eager Logan.

As I lie alone again I think about Ana and Avril's words, "It's been two and a half months, you need to move on." "I need to see a huge change from you." Their voices rang inside my head, I couldn't comprehended how quite possibly I could preserve through all this emotional stress and become "a changed person" rather than just breaking down. I understood where they were coming from as I needed a clear mind to work and communicate with people, however I didn't see how it was humanely possible to change myself in such a way. I decided that I would think with more of a level head after some rest so I got changed and under my duna. Slowly my eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.

"Phoebe, What have you done?" He asks, his tone full of shock and sorrow. He turns to leave but I call out to stop him.

"Nick.. Wait! I'm so sorry, I.. I didn't mean for this to happen.." I whimper, tears running in a flood down my face. He stops but doesn't turn to face me.

"No Phoebe, people got hurt, my entire career was ruined and probably everyone in my company will be under fire as well." He says his voice a mixture of hardness and dispair. I open my mouth to reply, but find my throat dry and empty. I am only able to manage a croaky apology.

"Sorry," He says "I don't think I can forgive you for this, I don't think I ever will be."