Sweet Nothing • (book one) jb

chapter thirty-three

Songs inspired for the chapter;

Break Free - Ariana Grnade ft. Zedd

Forgive - Rebecca Lynn Howard

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"You did this to me."

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April 16th, 2013

Oslo, Norway

The past few weeks have been really stressful on my part. I was starting to get tired of traveling the world. I was getting home sick, but I guess what was keeping me here was I knew I had nowhere to go. My mother completely admitted to me that she didn't want me. She hasn't called or texted Pattie at all since that day which showed not only me, but Pattie she really didn't want me.

Andrea Elizabeth Smith, my own mother had abandoned me in my time of need. First, she sent me away then doesn't call. Then when she finally did call me it ended up in a horrible ending for us. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the need to call her and apologize because I honestly did want to. But then I would put my phone back down knowing she wanted the complete opposite. She finally got what she wanted so I shouldn't ruin it for her even though it hurts me.

Not only were thoughts of my mother consuming my mind, but Justin was too. Ever since he found out who I was there was this weird feeling of regret inside of me. It was like I was nust waiting for this to happen, but I tried convincing myself that it was better he knew because that way I could torture him more. He's always trying to talk to me, and takes every chance he can get to apologize. It was exactly what I knew would happen, he's trying to fix things that just can't be fixed.

"Alex, you ready to leave?" Kenny popped his head through the door just as I finished putting on my vans. I looked up and nodded my head. He smiled at me and turned around so that I could jump on his back.

Things between the crew and I have been mostly the same. Besides the fact they kinda treat me even more delicate than they use too. They always tried their best not to bring Justin up around me, I knew because they would always look at me when someone said his name or he walked in. I really didn't understand why because I tolerated it when nobody knew so why change now?

Being carried out into the living room of the tour bus, everyone was sitting down on the couch watching yet another gossip channel. Considering half the things they say about celebrities including Justin are false, I don't know why they continue to watch it.

I sighed silently and rested my head on Kenny's back as the whole crew watched the TV. I closed my eyes listening to the lady talking on the TV. It was kind of like deja vu when she brought up a subject that was talked about months before.

Shooting my head up, I glanced over at Justin seeing he sat up in his seat and looked over at me for a quick second before turning back to the TV. Turning my head away from him I pursed my lips at the TV getting ready for the worst.

"Months ago, we brought up the subject of popstar Justin Bieber and his mystery girl who we found out was Alexandra Smith from Stratford, Canada. Months after we found out about Alexandra, a couple of interesting things happened. Not only did Alexandra join Bieber on his Believe Tour but ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez did herself. The two girls seemed to be hitting it off for the first couple of shows until this happened."

A picture of Justin and I swept across the screen from the day of his birthday when the first story popped up. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulders and I had mine around his waist. We were both laughing with our matching ray bans on. It was when we were walking to the van to leave. I remember because I told him I would be nice to him just for that day and I did just that. But that night did not change anything because Selena knew everything and even smiled at me in satisfaction when we got into the van.