Sweet Nothing • (book one) jb

five

Songs inspired for the chapter;

You Lost Me - Christina Aguliera
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"I'm not the girl I use to be..."

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I lightly threw my last packed suitcase on the carpeted floor of my bedroom. I laid down on the soft bed I was going to have to move away from. I sighed once again and put my fingers on the sides of my forehead, rubbing my tembles.

These past two weeks have been nothing but total hell for me. I've been having the worst migraines ever which wasn't helping case at all.Not to mention the horrible stomach aches, but luckily they were fading away. The doctors said it would be like this for a while though because of the affects of the overdose. I knew other wise, however.

This was more than an overdose affect. Yes, it probably had a little to do with the overdose, but it also had to do with the fact that I was being sent of to live with Pattie and not only her but him.

Justin Bieber.

You can say I wasn't even a tad bit mad, but rather so pissed off that when I was told that I would be sent away to live with him in the hospital room, I had thrown a tantrum so huge they had to sedate me in order for me to calm down. And I still wasn't over the fact that I was being sent away. Especially with him?

My mother knew all he had done to me and just how bad he had hurt me; how bad his words hurt me. How when he broke my heart and left me there for the fame, I stayed in my room for days not once coming out. She knew how much I had grown to despise him, and that the moment I ever heard about him, or his mom, I completely lost it.

How would she expect me to live with them and not look back on the past and want to kill him right on the spot? I just wish she would see that that's when I started to 'spiral out of control' as she put it. I'm not admitting this to myself at all, but maybe he was the reason I started to do the things I did? Not saying it is but maybe she should think about it. Just saying.

I tried multiple times for her to not send me away but they just never worked. We always ended up in some huge argument and walked away from each other. I knew there was no way of getting out of this so I just came to the decision to not put up a fight.

I was going to go to LA and live with them, but I was not going to pay any attention to them. Well, at least Justin. I guess you can say I didn't want to get in anymore pointless arguments with my mother because I knew she would never change her mind. I just knew.

So, now here I am laying on my bed, rubbing my temples with my packed suitcases laying on the floor. My flight left in about maybe, three hours? Which meant that sometime tonight I was going to see my long lost Aunt (what I use to call her) and my heartbreaker.

"It takes at least an hour and a half to get to the airport so we better leave now!" I heard my mother shout from down the stairs.

I groaned and sat up in bed crossing my arms over my chest. I took one deep breath and closed my eyes before gritting my teeth together, and mumbling a few curse words under my breath. I got off my bed and grabbed my bag swiftly putting it on my shoulder and grabbing the two suitcases I had sprawled across the floor.

I started to descend down the stairs when the harsh reality had sunk in. This would be the last time for at least a year-- or however long Mr. heartbreaker's tour was-- that I would see my house. The place I had grown up in since the day of my birth.

I sighed and felt a tear trickle down my cheek but acting upon a reflex I had grown accustomed to, I instantly wiped it away. I was not going to miss this place at all. If my mom was sending me away I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of me being sad. She would think I had caved when I wasn't. So I sucked it up and walked out the door.