Sweet Nothing • (book one) jb

chapter thirty-four

"I promise I won't tell anybody..."

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I pulled my sweater closer to my body to keep the coolness of the room away from my arms. I already got goosebumps as soon as I stepped into the room, without anyone by my side, and the coldness added to my extreme social awkwardness.

The room was small but large enough for a group of people to sit in. The walls were all white without a speck of dirt or pictures anywhere. Just plain and boring. There was about ten red chairs in the middle of the wooden floor for everyone to sit at, including the instructor. There was also a large window that looked out onto the lake and tables filled with people playing cards or talking to one of the counselors

As I sat down in the red chair, I tried my best to keep my gaze away from the other people that were in the room waiting for the counselor to show up.

I looked out the window letting my hair fall over my face so that nobody could stare at me, and watched as people talked to the counselors. I silently thanked the God I convinced myself didn't exist for not letting me turn into these people and letting me only show up for appointments in the countries I was in.

The door opened and then slammed shut causing me to jump in my seat and the others to let out a groan. It was then I knew the counselor arrived and looked up to see what they looked like.

Surprisingly it was a woman who looked about in her mid 20's. She had blonde hair that was tied up into a ponytail and reached to her shoulders. She had on a pink collar shirt along with light blue skinny jeans and white flats. If she didn't have a counselor ID wrapped around her neck I promise you she would pass off as a college student.

"Good afternoon everyone." She smiled warmly and sat down in the red chair in the middle right across from me.

She swept her eyes across the group recognizing everyone's face, but then her gaze landed on me causing me to shift uncomfortably. I watched as her eyes went down to my name tag and she read it intently before looking up at me while nodding her head.

My name tag read: Alexandra Smith: group appointment

Nobody else in the room had a name tag on but me and the counselor so I'm guessing she read it just to figure out why I was here.

"So today I decided instead of doing our normal exercises and then talking we should just go ahead and talk. Who wants to start?" Her gaze traveled across the room causing me to sink in my seat a little.

I honestly didn't want to go first. I hated coming to these things, but I was forced ever since that night I ran away and was being stupid.

"Maggie." The counselor said, who I soon learned her name was Sadie.

Everyone in the room had taken their turn, telling their name and what they were addicted to. They were all addicted to different types of things from alcohol to prescription pills and heroin. But not once did I hear crystal meth and it caused me to become overly nervous because I would be the only one. It only became worse when she called on me.

I gulped and stood up with my head down suddenly becoming interested in my shoes. I knew I had to talk though because they were all staring at me and I suffered from extreme insecurity.

"My name is Alexandra but I'd much prefer Alex." I said lifting my head up.

My gaze travelled around the group and I suddenly became nervous as everyone's eyes were fixated on me. I gulped and put my head back down.

"I'm 18 years old and I was addicted to crystal meth."

I sat back down in my seat and slouched putting my head back down making my hair cover my face. At this moment, I felt small because I revealed that to a group of unknown people. I honestly don't know why I was afraid since I've been doing this for weeks now. Maybe it was because this is the first group I've been to where I was the only meth addict.