It Gets Harder

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The ocean was my peace.

It always reminds me of Paul and his
love for surfing. During my week at his house, I would silently sit on the window sill to look at the ocean.

I made the bad decision to go up to his room on the second day. I tried to find peace and him in any little thing. His bracelets, his pillows, his pictures of Meadow.

I went out to the beach to sit with
Meadow because I couldn't face her
since the accident. The serenity in just
sitting on the beach and listening to the waves helped me think things through.

Meadow handed me a box saying that
this was the Christmas present that he
was supposed to give me which he told me about two days before his passing.

She said that she was hoping it would
give me peace at this time.

Sometimes I feel that people do things that seem like they know they're passing is coming.

I opened the box to find a note that said,

"Mel, It took me months to try and find the perfect present for you. It hit me one day. Because I always give you the best advice and because you always listen to it ;) This necklace is for you when you need someone to look after you when I'm not there. love you and see you soon kiddo."

That is how I got my "Paul" necklace.

Through the tears I wrote my song "Adore You" right after that.

Still to this day I wear it in good and bad times.

Forever.

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