A Fractured Mind | 민윤기

Fourteen

9 June 2018

Yoongi hadn't seen Jimin in a week and he felt like the air was being taken right out of his lungs. He laid in bed all day and wallowed. He didn't go to class, he didn't go to therapy. He listened to Yoonji and Agust argue. Then he would tell himself that they aren't actually Yoonji and Agust. He was just arguing with himself.

It went back and forth between You know you're sorry. Just call them and apologize. And They walked out on me. I'm not gonna beg anyone to stay in my life.

But as the days wore on, he realized he really did need them. He woke up around one in the afternoon without Victoria there to wake him with soothing touches and words of encouragement. He didn't eat because he refused to get up and Jimin wasn't there to cuddle him and give him that absolutely adorable smile that he couldn't resist. He was also lazy and Victoria wasn't there to make the amazing food she always did.

He couldn't deny it any longer. He missed them. He began dwelling less on his trauma and more on how he'd pushed the most important people in his life away. They were gone because he drove them to leave. Would they ever come back?

Now it was nine in the morning. That was the time they woke him on weekends, usually. He'd been such a dick to them lately that they had grown apprehensive about waking him up at all. And now the only thing to greet him in the morning was the musky scent of man that swirled around his room from lack of fresh air and the dark, dingy shade that everything was painted in. Maybe it was because he'd shut the sunlight out with the black curtains.

Or maybe it was because Jimin and Victoria weren't there to brighten his days.

The sound of the door opening and shutting threw him out of his thoughts. His stomach fluttered with hope, but he still refused to get up. If it was Jimin or Victoria, he didn't want them to know that he'd missed them. He turned on his side in his bed and stared at the wall.

Shoes slapped the wooden floor outside. By the way it sounded, he could tell it was Victoria. Jimin had a heavier step that was due to the muscle he'd been building up from dancing as he began to eat more. But then he wondered when he'd come to know her so well that he could tell her step apart from Jimin's.

Sure enough, when his bedroom door opened, he heard a distinctly female sigh. "Oh, Yoongi."

He stayed where he was, staring at the wall. The bed dipped on the other side before he felt a hand touch his arm before running over to his chest. She rested her chin on his shoulder. He missed her touch. "Have you been outside at all this past week?"

Yoongi only grunted in response and moved to sit up. She straightened as well, waiting until he was sitting and facing her to move a few messy strands of hair out of his face.

"Classes?"

He shook his head, averting his gaze to stare at the floral print on her dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. He wanted to touch the fabric; she always wore the softest clothes.

"Therapy?" she asked quieter, already knowing the answer.

He didn't shake his head. He only lowered it until his forehead was resting on her shoulder, slender fingers clutching her waist tightly. Victoria slid her arms around his shoulders and stroked the back of his head.

"Yoonie, why'd you push us away? All we wanted was the best for you." She sighed as he pressed his face further into her, shoulders beginning to shake as she felt wetness on her skin. "All we did was love you."

"I know," he sobbed, voice muffled. "I'm sorry—I never meant to do that to you. I was just scared." She smiled at the confession. He'd finally gotten there on his own. "Jimin has put up with me for so long and I was scared he would leave and you know so much about this stuff that I figured you wouldn't want to have a patient around all the time."