Into The Woods- Bellamy Blake

Chapter 40

The next night, Ember laid on Lexa's bed, while Lexa laid on a couch and Clarke drew her. The three hadn't spent much time apart since the previous day, all afraid of the repercussions of Lexa's new plan.

They all gained comfort from being near each other, as Lexa slept comfortably and Clarke and Ember talked quietly to each other. It wasn't until Clarke brought up yesterday's events that Ember shifted awkwardly on the bed and hesitated with answering.

"I didn't want to leave you behind, when the missile was launched." Clarke said, addressing the major block in their friendship. She knew that that day she had betrayed Ember's trust, and wanted to earn her trust back, for that to happen, she needed to talk about the things they avoided talking about.

Ember stopped herself from sitting up, afraid that the loud and sudden noise would wake Lexa up. She liked seeing the normally stressed out girl relaxed. "Why did you?" She asked after a moment of looking at Lexa.

She knew that both of them in the room had a part in leaving her behind, but she had been much more hurt by Clarke leaving, and therefore had forgiven Lexa much easier. "I- I thought it was best when I did it, but I knew almost instantly after it hit that it wasn't. Lexa told me we couldn't tell anyone, and I grabbed my mom, but not you. I know you saw me too, which probably made it worse."

Ember didn't want to be having this conversation. She had buried even the thought of the missile, thinking back on it had started causing her a lot of added stress, and she didn't want to reopen that closed door. "It's okay." Ember said, shrugging slightly. "I get it. They would have known Bellamy was in the Mountain if you saved everyone."

At the time, Ember didn't care if Bellamy was caught. When the missile hit she was too busy being angry at him for something he had some weeks prior and kept it secret from her. She shouldn't have been surprised, Bellamy may have loved her as much as she had loved him, but she knew that didn't change who he was. He was a different person back then. A person that was selfish, and more in love with himself than anyone else.

Now, Ember could tell he cared about their people. He wasn't using them for his own personal gain, he was trying to protect everyone, same as Ember. Bellamy wasn't a leader at the moment, he was a friend trying to protect his own friends by make wrong choices, a soldier that was being misled by a terrible leader. She couldn't blame him from wrongfully following someone, because by that logic she'd have to blame all of her friends, for following Bellamy and her when they had no idea what they were doing.

"I still should have gotten you out of there."

Ember shook her head almost instantly this time, no doubt in her mind about how she would have felt. "I'm actually glad you didn't. If everyone wasn't saved, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I left people behind." Realizing how that sounded, she winced and sheepishly added, "not that I blame you. It was a smart move, as a leader. Just not one I could handle taking."

Clarke glanced up at her friend, setting her drawing of Lexa down. "What about Bellamy? Would you have risked his life for everyone there?"

She glanced at Lexa, making sure she still slept peacefully. "Yes. At the time, I was pissed at Bellamy, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Now, I still would have. But not because I don't care if he's safe, but because I believe that if anyone could handle themselves in there without getting caught, it would be Bellamy. And I also believe that one person's life should never mean more than anyone's, especially when it's hundreds of people."

Her last sentence felt like a lie as she said it. Bellamy was one of several people she'd kill thousands of people to save. "Do you still care about Bellamy?"