Abused love

My now second hell

First period could have taken whole day that was the longest hour of my life sitting next to him i will never get back,making my way down the halls i felt an odd feeling like someone was watching me i turned behind to see a girl no less than my age,black shoulder length hair, she was dressed in a floral top with a jeans and normal sneaker. "Hi", as i stretched out my hand hoping to break the silence hoping i can finally make a friend even tho not having one all my life had bothered me in any way but just once i would want one to cry with,laugh with, heck even talk about boys with my best friend was no other than my stuffed animals amd even they could not talk back or save me from my pain

"Oh right hi , my name is Scarlet Jones you must be Bella"

and with that she took my hand and shook it very vigourasly, "Yeah hi Scarlet weren't you in my class first period this morning" i said trying to make a conversation "Yes i was actually but you were the lucky one" she said with so much hope in her eyes "Lucky how?" confused as i was i still wanted to know how i was lucky i was everything but lucky "You don't know YOU SAT NEXT TO JACKSON THE HOTTEST GUY TO EVER WALK THROUGH THESE HALLS!!!!!" i rolled my eyes in disgust HE WAS EVERYTHING BUT CUTE, IN MY EYES HE WAS A SELF ABSORBED PLAYER I COULD NEVER FIND MYSELF FALLING FOR THE LIKES OF HIM but maybe just maybe could i be fallling for him? His smile oh how when he smiles it was like the entire world stops and when i look into those ocean blue eyes it was like i was floating through time i could spend hours looking into his eyes, OH SHIT I THINK I ,IIKE HIM I LIKE JACKSON NO NO I CANT IT IS TO RISKY I CAN NEVER LIKE ANYONE I CANT I CANT. "BELLA!!", scarlet screamed snapping me out of my thoughts instantly "Jesus bella i have been calling your name for awhile now are you ok you kinda shut down when i told you that you were lucky to be sitting next to jackson."

"Yeah i am fine i just zoned out and by the way i am not lucky he is a self absorbed ass ok i was dying inside sitting next to him i felt to kill myself he is trying to make school my second hell," i complained as i folded my arms i glance up to realize scarlet was not listening to a word i said she was drooling over the bad bay over by his gang of theives or maybe just staring at him for who knows what reason does she like him too? The day passed by quickly but all i know is that i have a new friend and i guess a new crush that no body could find out even my new friend likes him he really has the whole female student body under a spell but for one thing the first day of school was great but now that the school part of the day is over now back to reality to hell well as others will call it home sweet home but for me there was nothing sweet about it.Back home it was quiet it was only like this maybe as the devil spawn was at the bar working up the anger so when he comes home screaming will erupt, the same lines he says every time he beats the daylight out of me every time he beats me till i pass out or bleed but is still consious to hear when he is digusted by me and is disapointed to call me his daughter but for all i know he could never be the father i loved, the one that helped me up when i fell, who wiped my tears and tucked me in bed each night and told me that he loves me no matter what but now he is the kind of father that would beat his own daughter unconsious all because of a famil tragedy it didn't affect him alone i lost my mom my world when i was only five years old and now eleven years later no step mom nobody i am all alone in this world and i can only depend on myself.I tried to do as plenty as i can before he barged into the house screaming down the place guns a blazing,after i did my homework and studied i decided to do a few chores and tried to get a decent meal as i have had one in weeks. Before i knew it it was eleven pm so i just went to bed, locked the door and prayed he was not coming home i prayed that my mom would save me just once just once i would love to feel wanted by someone to be truly loved i longed for that feeling to be restored in my heart to pick up the pieces of fragments that have been shattered for too long just like my mom used to tell me whan i was little 'One day a guy will love you for you not for what you have he will love you to the moon and back be willing to bring down all the stars in the sky for you, to travel all around the world for the one thing you love when you are feeling upset and that day will come you will have a family of your own with the guy you love and who loves you back with children who will love and respect you beacuse i know that being your mom is the best gift or maybe wish i could ever hope for', i would never forget that night she told me that before the morning she pulled out the driveway and that night she never returned the last hug i gave her was the morning before she left, the nights i cried hoping that it was it was not true before i knew it i was crying bawling down the place tears ran cold down my pale face i layed down i bed and i soon drifted off into my painful slumber waiting for tomorrow a whole new day a whole new hell to come and before i knew it sleep took over.

AUTHORS NOTE

sorry if i had unpublished some kind of glitch as i now read it as i have published it over

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER MIGHT BE JACKSONS POV WELL BYE!!