Her Darkest Secrets || J.EB

{Prologue}

"Mom...Selena...NOO!" napabalikwas ako mula sa pagkakahiga nang mapanaginipan na naman ang hindi kaaya-ayang pangyayari na iyon.

It's here again. It's haunting me in my dreams again. I gathered my knees with my arms as I let my AC's cold air brush against my skin. Binabangungot na naman ako ng nakaraan...

Two weeks ago...

It was the night of my seventeenth birthday, it was just a simple gathering held in the mansion's wide gardens. Celebrating with only our family and close friends. And as expected, wala na naman si papa. He's always out of the town for the past few months dahil sa inaasikaso nitong problema sa kompanya. He had never stayed at least five hours at home for the past few months. And it saddens me to see that he was not able to attend my special day.

The party started at exactly 12 noon and ended at exactly 6 in the evening. The party went well, except for the fact that my mother was also nowhere to be found. The guests were having a good time til it was time for them to leave. Agad namang nagligpit ang mga maids ng mga kalat sa garden at sala, hanggang sa biglang dumating si mama na lasing at may kasama na namang lalake.

It has always been like this ever since the day I was born, ayon kay manang Ester, my nanny. My parents story was not the typical happily ever after after the wedding.

My mom and dad were arranged for business purposes, and mom never liked the idea but still had to do it for her family's reputation's sake. My mom had to marry my dad not just for the business but because she was already pregnant of me at a very early age of 22. My dad got her impregnated, and so dad willingly took the responsibility and stood as a real man and stood up for me. You see, I was never made out of love. I was made out of lust.

And never did I once felt my mother's affection and love towards me, she would look at me like a trash. I could still recall the times she'd call me trash, bitch, cheap shit, and a life ruin-er. Dahil daw saakin ay nasira ang buhay nito. And I felt crap about myself. My mom hated me to hell so much that she would willingly kill me if killing just wasn't a crime. While my father on the other side was the best. He never treated me just like how my mom does. He's a great father. Kaya lang, halos wala itong oras sa pamilya. And everytime that I wanted to bond with him through shopping or chess, he would usually dismiss me and give me money. Kaya kahit ayaw ko, at hindi ko pa rin maipagkakaila na unti-unti nang lumalayo ang loob ko kay papa. Like the hell?! I just wanted to have a father-daughter bonding with him! And why can't he give that to me, if he's so powerful to the point that he could have it all?!

Maayos naman na sana ang takbo ng buhay ko nang biglang dumating si mama sa bahay matapos mawala nang halos limang buwan at malaki na ang tiyan. She got impregnated by other man. Her parents-my grandparents-got the news kaya agad silang pumunta sa bahay. Agad na nakatanggap ng kaliwa't kanang sampal si mama mula kay lolo Emir, and that was the very first time I saw mom cry. At 'yon din ang kina-una-unahang pagkakataong nakita ko ang mga emosyong galit, poot, at lungkot sa muka ni papa. And tears escaped from his eyes, and that was when I realized dad had learned to love my mother inspite of all the bad things she'd done. Bigla akong naawa kay papa, and since then nagpakalunod ito sa trabaho hanggang sa manganak si mama ng kambal na lalake at babae and dad openly adopted the twins and named them Sandro and Selena.

Ang buong akala ko noon ay titigil na si mama sa mga bisyo nito at magkakaroon na kami ng buo at masayang pamilya nang dumating ang kambal, pero nagkakamali ako. For my mom continued with her bad habits. She goes out almost every night to party, leaving my baby twin siblings under my and their nannies care. Then she comes home drunk with an unknown guy then went to her room. My parents never shared a room. I was not stupid to not know what they were doing inside. I could perfectly hear them outside the door.