I Want What I Can't Have

Chapter thirteen

I forcefully dug through my handbag, trying to dind my hotel key. My mind was somwhere else, though. I just don't know what to even think right now. Was Zayn really like that? He seemed so sweet and innocent. Who am I kidding? He's a nineteen year old hearthrob around the world. Of course he's not innocent.

"Ariana!" Zayn called, his footsteps getting louder. Shit. I ignored him and continued searching for my key, finding it as soon as he approached. His hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him. His facial expression was soft, but filled with worry. I tried avoiding his eyes becuase I knew I would give into them, and that's not what I wanted to do at this moment. "Ariana, god I'm so sorry. I didn't even thin that paparazzi would get that on photo...I'm such an idiot. But I promise we'll stay more discrete and-"

"Maybe my dad's right, Zayn. Maybe we...we shouldn't try this.." I mumbled with pain. Zayn's face fell to a frown. His eyes scanned my expression, failing to read it. Then his head began to slowly shake. 

"Wha-no. Nooo no no no. Ari, what a-"

"Zayn, I don't want to be apart of all the girls you play. I just..I know that's what I'll become, and that's not what I want. Plus, I told Dalton I would wait for him." I sighed, turned around, and opened my door. Okay, I'll admit that I want Zayn ten times more then I want Dalton, but it was just another...excuse...I could use. Zayn just stood there in shock. I walked into my hotel suitedand shut my door, only to cue Zayn's knocks and calls to me for about five minutes straight. He eventually gave up, saying his final words before walking away.

"Ariana, I know you're listening. And I know you're upset...but please, just let me explain." He pleaded. Those words were like a punch in the face. My eyes filled with tears, and I let a couple actually fall. So he knew what I was talking about when I told him I don't want to be played like the "other girls". Gosh, how could I be so stupid?

I walked into my room, changed into a sweatshirt and pajama shorts and climbed into bed, but decided to open up my laptop. As soon as I logged in, Skype was telling me I was getting a call from Dal_Marks....Dalton. Maybe we could work things out on this call. Oh lord. With shaking fingers, I clicked answer.

"ARIANA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" On  the screen I saw Dalton with my best friend Jaymee, which really didn't suprise me. They've been best friends since they were babies, and that's actually how I met Dalton - through Jaymee. I just smiled gently at them.

"Thanks guys, I really needed that."

"Damn girl, you look good!" Jaymee whistled. I laughed, forgetting that my hair was curled and makeup was pretty much perfected.

"Thanks, everybody took me out to dinner tonight, then we went out to the club after. What time is it there?"

"Too late. We should probably be getting to bed soon." Dalton yawned. Jaymee giggled, then pinched his cheeks.

"Awe! Isn't he just adorable?"

"No, you're adorable." He gave her a little kiss on the cheek then smiled at the camera. "Happy birthday, Ari. I'm going to bed, but get you're ass home soon. We miss you."

"Yeah..uh..miss you guys too.." I said weakly, still a bit in shock. What just happened? Why were they all lovey dovey? Dalton walked off and Jaymee whispered somethign to him before she looked at the camera again, but I was too dozed off to hear what she said. "So..you and Dalton?" I muttered. 

"Oh my god! I didn't tell you?"

"No..actually, you didn't."

"Oh, well since you were telling me about you and Zayn a few days ago," she paused, wiggling her eyebrows a little, "I kinda figured Dalton was free, so-"

"Well, I ended it with Zayn. So.."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but you guys are perfect for  each other. Don't worry about me. I'm going to bed, thanks for the call." I spoke sarcastically, ending the call, slamming my laptop shut, and pushed it to the foot of my bed. Immediately I pushed my legs to my chest and clenched the roots of my hair. My lip quivered as the pain in my stomach grew, and I began crying with no control.  How could they?! They're my best friends. Ugh. As the stream of tears got larger, I gasped for air and began rocking back and forth. I craved nothing but comfort right now. But of course, I'm alone. I've felt alone ever since my mum left. God, could this night get any worse?

Right then, there was a knock on the door.