I Want What I Can't Have

Chapter seventeen

"But dad-"

"No but's Ariana, the boys will stay in this tour bus with Preston, and me, you and the other lads will stay in that tour bus." He narroweed his head at me. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No." I lied. Yes, I do have a problem with that. I don't want to stay in the tour bus with Dan, Sandy, Jon, and Josh. Don't get me wrong, we're all friends, but I'd rather stay in the same bus as Zayn. But of course, I can't tell my dad that. He nodded his head then clapped his hands together.

"Okay then! What are we waiting for?" He smiled and picked up his bags. Everybody repeated his actions and piled into the tour buses. Zayn tryied mouthing something to me, but it wasn't something I could understand. I grumbled to myself in frustration and stomped onto the bus, preparing for an unpredictible four hours.

***

I plopped down on the couch next to Josh, swinging my feet up and resting them on the coffee table in front of us. I set the pack of Oreos in between me and Josh, opening it and taking a couple.

"So, how many more hours?" Josh huffed, taking a bite of the cookie in his hands. I shrugged, looking at my phone to see that it was 12:30 am.

"Two." I groaned, shoving an oreo into my mouth. Josh threw his head back.

"How is everybody else sleeping?!"

"I don't know..."

"You think the other guys are?"

"Doubt it, want me to call Zayn?" Josh nodded, so I unlocked my phone and dialed his number. It rang a few times before he answered.

"Hey babe," he grumpled in a low, sleepy voice. I scrunched my nose at that.

"Hi Zayn, were you sleeping too?" I asked with obvious disapointment in my voice. I heard him shuffle a bit then clear his throat.

"No, no. It was just a little nap, but I'm up now." He said sounding a little bit more awake. Right before I could reply, I heard Louis yelling in the background.

"NO, HE WAS SOUND ASLEEP, ARI. HE'S LYING TO YOU, HE'S BEEN SLEEPING THIS ENTIRE TIME." He shouted.

"Would you shut up?" Zayn sounded a bit annoyed. Louis smirked something about Zayn being grumpy before Zayn continued our conversation. "Ariana, I'm-"

"Listen, if you're sleeping, just call me back when you wake up. Me and Josh are just bored, looking for something to do."

"Are you sure?" He yawned. I giggled at how cute he sounded when he was tired.

"Positive. We'll just play cards or something. Bye Zayn."

"Bye baby." I could hear the smile in his voice. My stomach fluttered a bit at the sound of him calling me baby. It's always been just 'babe', which he calls everybody. But this was the first time he's actually said baby. A small smile crept on my face but quickly faded when Josh's voice interrupted my thoughts. 

"Sleeping?"

"Yeah..." I sorta shook my head back to reality, clearing my mind of what just happened. Josh let out a small laugh.

"What? Why are you all smiley?" He grinned, poking one of my dimples. I bit my lip as my cheeks got hotter.

"Nothing..just Zayn..he's such a sweetheart." I said in a hushed tone, being  careful that my dad wouldn't hear me. Josh nodded.

"I see. Did I tell you Bailee is flying in tomorrow?"

"Bailee?" I scrunched my eyebrows together. He rolled his eyes.

"I swear, you never listen to me. It's my girlfriend, the one I've been talking abot 24/7!" He slightly laughed.

"Oh yeahhh! Oh my god, yay!" I cheered. Now I remember Josh going on and on and on about this girl. I knew her name sounded familiar.

"Yeah, she's only staying for two days, though." He sounded disappointed, but still grinned.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No! I mean, yeah I wish I had more time to spend with her, but any time is okay, even if it was just an hour." He blushed, realizing how much he was babbling about her. I couldn't help but smile.

"Josh, you're adorable!" I squealed, making him give me a funny look.

"I'm older then you, Ariana."

"Oh you know what I mean." I rolled my eyes. He just grinned that cute grin he always does. I swear, if I didn't know him, I would've guessed that he's about 17.

"Maybe I don't know what you mean," he teased, taking another Oreo from the pack. "Maybe you're hitting on me."

"Ew, that's gross!" I shrieked. Josh croaked out a laugh and put his hands over my mouth to quiet me down.

"Ariana, people are sleeping on this bus!" He tried to be serious, but failed. I shook his hand off my mouth and stuck my tongue out at him, only to get a tongue stick out in reply.

"Yeah, but hitting on you would be like hitting on my older brother."

It's true, Josh is literally like my older brother. Yeah, the other boys are like really close friends, but I'm always some how paired with Josh whenever we do anything with a group because of my dad. Adn I'm perfectly fine with that, condsidering he'll actually listen to you and your problems. He's always looking after me too, making sure I'm okay and being all protective. He's a fun lad to be around, too.

"You really think of me as an older brother?" He questioned with obvoiusly another thing on his mind. I nodded in response and let him continue. "And big brothers are protective and stuff, alway giving out advice?"

"Sure," I answered, trying to think of where he was going with this.

"Then can I be completely honest with you right now?"

"Of course, Josh!"

"This whole Zayn thing. I don't think you should be doin it. I mean, not that Zayn's the wrong guy for you, because I konw for a fact that he'll treat you right. And god if he doesn't, I'll take care of that. But I don't think going behind your dad's back is the best thing to do. What happens when he finds out? He'll be furious, but will be upset becuase you and Zayn were lying to him."

I bit my lip, not knowing how to reply to that. God, he's always right. Damn you, Josh. "It's kinda hard to just end it now, though. We've been dating for two - almost three - weeks."

"I'm just saying that you'll get less hurt trying to end it now rather then being forced to end it later. Just trying to think of what's best for you and Zayn."