I Want What I Can't Have

Chapter fourteen

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

OKAY SO IF SOMEBODY WOULD MAKE ME A YOUTUBE VIDEO WITH A BUNCH OF CLIPS OF ZAYN/ARIANA GRANDE WITH THE BACKGROUND MUSIC OF EITHER SAVE MY HEART BY JASON REEVES OR THE WMYB COVER BY BOYCE AVENUE, I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. seriously though. i would. just message me on tumblr (wel0ve1dforever) or talk to me on instagram(onedirection_brats)  or just comment here & let me know. thank youuu!

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"Josh..what are you doing here?" I asked, wiping the wetness and makeup from under my eyes. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His eyes just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, making it obvoius he didn't know what to say.

"Well, you and Zayn left early and we all just got back...Harry just went off to bed..I kinda felt like a third wheel with all the couples, so I came to check on you and Zayn. Zayn's not answering his door so....Ari are you- have you been crying?" His words stumbled over each other and his eyebrows were knitted together. His eyes roamed my face instead of being locked with my sight, which really bugged me.

"Yeah, actually.." I sniffed.

"Well are you...what..what's going on?" He frowned. I shrugged, opening my door a little wider. 

"You have time? I'll explain everything..I guess.."

"Yeah, I've got plenty of time!" He nodded, then followed me into the living room, plopping a few inches away from me on the couch. I sat with my legs criss-crossed, facing him. He put his hands in his lap and lifted his eyebrow up, waiting for me to begin.

"God, okay..where do I start.." I huffed. " So before I started traveling with my dad, I had a boyfriend, Dalton. And so he didn't want to do a long distance and all that stuff, so we made a deal that if I waited for him, he'd wait for me. So then I got all caught up on Zayn and told my best friend about him, which made her think that Dalton is like..fully availible..I guess..Then toight my dad found out that me and Zayn have been sneaking around, so he told me about all the girls Zayn has broken. And I told Zayn I don't want to be apart of his parade of girls...then Dalton and jaymee called basically just to say 'guess what? we're a couple!' And now..I..I don't know what to do." My breath got caught in my throat, causing my sentence to be cut short. I bit back the tears, but Josh shook his head and opened his arms.

"Come here, love." I leaned down on his chest under his arm. He sympathetically held me in his arms and ran his fingers through my messed up curls. Yeah, me and Josh don't really know each other, but comforting like this was what I really wanted...what I really needed. "Don't hold back your, tears, babe." He mumbled. I did as he said, letting my built up tears fall onto Josh's shirt, leaving small wet stains.

"I feel so alone, Josh. My mum left...my dad..he probably hates me..I..I don't want anything to do w-with Zayn..Dalton's gone..everybody's gone.."

"Oh hush, you're dad doesn't hate you. And you got us and all the boys. Trust me, Zayn will fix this..it'll be okay, Ariana..."

"Is Zayn really like that, Josh? D-d-does has he really been with that many girls?" I cried out. I was moving up and down with the rhythm of his breathing, and he took a deep sigh.

"You want me to be honest?"

"Please." My voice was shaky and weak. Why was I getting so upset? Oh, maybe because Zayn was so much more sincere, so different. Ugh, I should've known.

"Zayn has had plenty of different girls, and yeah, I know why he had them. But it's not for me to tell, you should really talk to him tomorrow."

"I don't want tooooooo," I whined.