melancholy tingles pinch my nerves
the familiar ache of old feeling
breathless lungs don't try to gasp for the air i so desperately desire.
the soundtrack in my mind
white noise that never stops
i ache for a new feeling to fill me up.
i spend the night at your house
thinking that i could feel something
but all i feel after is the ache between my legs
that comes after seeing you.
i never expected love
it wasn't something i was taught i deserved
so i expected nothing more than sex
from boys who never truly cared about me.
the ache in my heart was something i was thought to ignore
not to give in to the incessant pounding whenever i neared a handsome boy.
the tingle in my stomach was supposed to remind me that i was abnormal
because i never grew up with enough love to ever deserve to feel that ache.
the ache in my head from too much alcohol was normal
everyone felt it
and i wanted to feel the same as everyone else
so i drank until my stomach couldn't hold it
and then the next day i was just like anyone else.
i worked until my body ached
from lack of sleep
or overworking
what's the difference, really?
i'll work till i die
have sex till i die
and never expect any more from anyone or myself
until i die.
YOU ARE READING
poetry
Poesíapoetry is when an emotion has found its thought, and the thought has found words -robert frost. all poems are mine unless stated otherwise. just thought i'd give someone a taste of my mind. #4 in ode
