I always believed his feelings for me were real. A love that will last forever and ever just like how I admire the Disney princess back then. The funny thing is that I used to believe I was living in a fairytale.
But the world and the people I came across taught me that life isn't like that.
My father once told me that love may be cruel at times what you are feeling now will not last. It will always change in the end.
Fate... decided otherwise. Daddy died from a heart attack after my graduation. It was like a huge bomb exploded for me and my mother. Sobrang bilis lahat ng pangyayari na halos sarili ko'y napabayaan ko na.
Sheena has been my only best friend since we graduated from San Francisco State University in Northern California. I was never given the opportunity to apologize to my father while he was still living.
I badly wanted to apologize for everything I had done years ago. My grandparents also passed away before I was born. Since then, I've been a brat, always sensitive to other people and always disobeying everything. My father's words keep echoing in my head, 'To love is to be happy, and no matter how shattered you are, forgive is to forget.' My mission is not to seek or discover love, but to find all the barriers within myself that I always build against it.
But... why can't I forget him? Until.... now.
"I'm sorry... I did what I could, Miss Zamora." Hindi matuloy tuloy ang sasabihin sa akin ng doctor kaya mahigpit akong napakapit sa x-ray na ibinigay niya.
"I-is there anyway?"
"There's no cure in her eyes but... Yes, there is a way for her." He said in a calm tone.
Bumagsak ang sarili kong balikat ng makalabas sa hospital. Pumara ako ng taxi para sana dumeretso ng library bago umuwi. Doon ako palagi dumederetso kapag kakausapin si Mommy na nasa pinas.
The cafe where I work is only a few miles away. Wala akong p-problemahing sumakay pa ulit ng cab dahil minsan 'ay umaga na akong umuuwi.
It was a truly cold here in San Francisco. Hindi na sa akin pamilyar ang ingay at matataas na building na nasasalubong ko. Lahat ng natutunan ko 'ay palagi kong iniisip ngayong hindi ko na kasama si Mommy. She will only visit here when Christmas or New Year. It's been six years since I've finally learned something. Na, kahit gaano kahirap ang pinag daanan ko noon, nakayanan ko. Si Mommy lang at si Sheena ang nasa tabi ko simula nung mawala si dad.
Nawala lang lahat ng pag dududa at galit ko dahil sa iisang dahilan kahit pa inisantabi ko ang pakiramdam na matagal ko ng kinakalimutan.
Nakababa na ako ng taxi. Dumeretso na ako sa loob ng library at doon ko nakita si Mrs. Davera, one of my closest librarians here.
"Hi!" Kuha ko ng atensyon.
Napaangat siya ng tingin mula sa binabasa na libro. She greeted me with a big smile before coming to me with a hug.
Mahina akong napatawa bago humiwalay.
"Silmerian, I'm glad that you arrived. I was on my way home!" She smiled widely as she tooked something in her bag. "Please give this to her. I hope she like my birthday present for her."
"Thank you so much, Mrs. Dav. I'm sure she'll love it."
"I have to leave now. See you again!"
Hawak hawak ang laptop, pumunta na ako sa taas para sana kapag tinawagan ko si Mommy sa skype, wala akong maiistorbo dito sa baba. Onti lang ang mga tao dito sa library. Hindi na din ako pumupunta sa mga ibang lugar dahil gusto ko ang matahimik.
