Falling apart

13~ (O)ut

About three weeks or so later I got my analysis back from the doctor. I had Iron deficiency Anemia. That was the cause of the headaches, the dizziness, the small appetite, the chest pains, etc.

I didn't tell anyone right away but I couldn't keep it to myself so I called my mom late at night.

"M- mom?" I said crying.

"Honey! Oh my gosh, why are you crying?"

Hearing my mom's voice made me so happy.

"Mom. I know what I have. Iron deficiency Anemia which means I lack red blood cells. And you know what's the best part? Red blood cells carry oxygen to the body's tissues" I sniffed "and I don't know what to do about it mom. How can I dance if I feel tired all the time? How can I continue with college also?" I sniffed again, "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to handle things."

"Aww baby, I know you don't think you are right now but you're a really strong woman! I wish I could be with you, are you fine tho? Did they give you medication, vitamins or something?"

My mom's voice was so relaxing to me I could listen to it all the time. And she was the kind not to worry in front of me, but I knew she was going to google it right away.

"Yes mom yes I have medications. And thank you for the kind words, I love you and miss you so much"

"Me too honey. Please take care of you. You should call Sooyun to stay with you or a friend."

"About that mom..." I sniffed "Sooyun is kinda weird lately, he has something going on and won't tell me."

"Let him be, he'll come back to you when he'll feel better."

I could hear her talking with a small smile on her face. She probably thinks it's a phase but mom, it is not a phase.

"And I met new friends. One of them is really special to me now."

"How come?"

"He saw me at my weakest." I paused, "Remember when I told you that I kept falling and everything? Well he helped me most of the time."

"Hm, he sounds like a good friend, but be careful honey, don't get yourself into a love triangle!"

"Of course not, I don't love him at all"

"Okay I have to go now, I'm at work!" She said whispering.

"Have a good day mom!"

I hung up, relieved. Talking to my mom always made me feel better. I was such a mess. Crying my heart out, having a mental breakdown. I needed someone to talk to. So I texted Sooyun saying that I was sick, and I needed company.

No answer after 40 minutes again.

So I finally decided to text Yoongi, we had been texting and calling each other a lot lately. We would talk all night long most of time. He was busy but still had time to talk to me and I found it so cute of him.

I learned a lot of things about him, like he acted cold at first but he was such a sweetheart.
He was really savage though, but so was I so I was okay with it.

He was a really hardworking man, he seemed confident as hell but he did have his own insecurities, like everyone else does.

He loved his members a lot, and he told me that he lived with Namjoon the longest, for almost 8 years I think?

He loved his fans so much and kept talking to me about all the cute things they did for them. I was honestly really impressed. ARMY was obviously the best fandom out there.

He also told me about his family and friends and how he became an idol. He told me about his struggles and what exactly was the purpose of his mixtape ; Agust D, and the story behind it. It was such a sad story that I ended up crying while we were FaceTiming! But then he told me that everything was good now, that I didn't have to worry, and I acted like I wasn't crying at all.

Anyways Yoongi was an adorable human being, I felt like giving him all the love and support that I could because he certainly deserved it.

To:
Yoongo Boongo ;)

Boi
2:47 a.m.
I mean man?
2:47 a.m.
I got the analysis back and I
have Iron Deficiency Anemia. I'm actually kinda having a breakdown? And I really want to talk to somebody so can you please come over? Or I'll come to your house. Either ways is fine.
2:48 a.m.

Did you really have to send such
a long text to ask me to come over?
Geez. It's so late.
2:50 a.m.

Yes, I'm sorry but I need a friend
with me and you're like one the
only friends I genuinely like?
2:50 a.m.

Okay fine. I'm on my way.
I had to take a break from producing anyways.
2:51 a.m.

Okay thank you ❤️
2:51 a.m.

Twenty minutes later the door bell rang. I checked my outfit and my face in the mirror that was in the entrance. I was still wearing the clothes I wore to go to the hospital the same morning. Black ripped jeans and an oversized grey sweater. My eyes looked swollen, I cried a lot all day long, and I was still crying, I looked horrible.

So as I opened the door I immediately hugged him.

"Thank you" I murmured.

He patted my back, and slowly got in even though I was hugging him still. He closed the door and I still wouldn't let him go.

"So you're that down"

He finally wrapped his arms around me, he probably could feel my whole body shaking under his arms.

"I don't know what to do" I whined, "I- I love to dance, and now I can't really do it a- anymore, I worked so hard in college and it may re- result in nothing"

He hugged me tighter, and kept saying that it'll be okay. Then he made me sit on the couch and watched me wiping my tears away and sniffing loudly. This whole situation made me laugh a little. I simply wished he wouldn't see me at my weakest all the time. I also wanted him to see who I could really be.

We sat on the couch, he started playing with my hands, laughing and joking around with me. Then he stopped and observed my features. He had such a kind look on his face that it made me want to hide somewhere because of how flustered it got me.

"Now tell me what's this disease all about"

So I went back to my senses and explained to him what it was and the effects on my life; tiredness, dizziness, small appetite, body hurting, shortness of breath etc. But that the medication was going to help with it.

I really tried not to cry again, but I couldn't. I was sobbing and probably really ugly looking, such a big mess in front of him. Whereas he stayed calm and didn't talk much while I was explaining.

When I was finally done he said "I'm here for you, we're friends, anytime you need someone you can call me. Or even call the boys, they won't mind. But especially me, because duh, I'm your favorite. And, I know it's what everyone says but it'll all be fine, don't worry" and then he smiled. The full ass smile. Yes ma'am.

You know it's my weakness, right?

It made me cry even more but I was happy at the same time, I let my head fall down and hid behind my hair. Then he took me into his embrace.

I loved this human in front of me so much. I wonder what I was doing with my life before meeting him.

I looked up and said "Yoongi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go out somewhere?"

"Right now?" He answered surprised.

"Yeah?"