Falling apart

22~ (m)eaningless person

We got back from my apartment after I grabbed everything I needed. I took my medicine also because I really wasn't feeling good and couldn't act like I was okay anymore.

We got back in his room and I let my backpack on his bed.

"Yoongi I need to take a shower" I told him taking out some clothes out of my bag.

"You know where the bathroom is" he said sitting down on the bed.

"Yeah"

"I need to take a shower too tho" he said smiling at me.

"I'm pretty sure there are other bathrooms in this huge ass house"

"Yeah but I wanna take a shower with you" he said pouting.

I got closer to him and gave him a peck on his lips. I smiled and tried to go out of the room but he grabbed my wrist.

"Come on babe it's like the second time you won't let my hand go today" I said whining, "let it gooooo"

"Did you just call me babe?" He said surprised, "Awww I'm sorry but you're too cute, I can't let you go"

He brought me closer to him and hugged my waist tight. He kissed me and finally let me go. I couldn't help but laugh at how cute he was.

After we both took a shower we went into his studio so he could work on his music and I could study, we weren't talking, but just enjoying each other's company.

~

After 3 hours or so studying I finally took a break and checked my phone.

*6 missed calls and 4 new messages from Sooyun*

When I saw the notifications my heart stopped beating for a second. I felt a heavy pain on my chest like if all the feelings I was trying to avoid came back all at once.

I should've blocked him for sure. But I decided to read his messages.

Sooyun

Yoora, I'm sorry about what happened. We need to talk.
12:37 p.m.
It will never ever happen again istg
1:21 p.m.
Please Yoora let me talk to you I regret what I did to you and what I said
1:23 p.m.
Answer me please
2:44 p.m.

Listen we have nothing to talk about. Now stop texting me because it's as much a waste of time for me as it is for you.
3:01 p.m.
What you did and said clearly explained everything.
3:01 p.m.
And don't you dare approach me. Let me live, and stay away from me.
3:02 p.m.

Then I laid my phone on the coffee table without turning it off and tried to focus on my work as I felt tears building up in my eyes.

This man meant a lot to me for the past two whole years. I loved him so much but it wasn't healthy at all.

Sooyun would always check up on me and call and spam if I didn't answer, he blew up my phone with angry messages all the time.

He would always come over and he'd say "I don't know what to do when you're not around" or things like "I will never let someone that I love so much go", and we both were really jealous. Like for real, we fought 25/8 because of it. It really wasn't healthy.

He couldn't stay away from me for like a day and neither could I, we were both obsessed with each other. We always wanted to see each other, like if the air wasn't as pure as when we were together.

So when everything changed it felt so weird not to have him around anymore. Like if I lost a part of me. But I slowly got used to not talking to him and not seeing him. And I discovered what being in love was like in a healthy way.

I couldn't see what was really happening in our relationship to be honest. I wasn't willing to tell myself that it was kind of toxic, I only saw it as cute and perfect. But now that I was out of it, I realized. He isolated me from most of my friends, specially all the guys and I did the same. We were both isolated from the real world.