Falling apart

18~ dame un be(s)o

After I was finally done with work I got back home just to take a shower real quick, take my medicine to feel better because. Damn. I was feeling really bad. I was tired, felt dizzy and my body hurt.

Anyways I was heading to his place, I was on my car with the radio on. Then they started talking about that creepy murder case again. Apparently the killer was still active and kidnapped two other females the night before.

It gave me goosebumps, I really hoped nothing would happen to me and that those girls will be found.

I finally got into their house, Jin opened the door for me. It was such a good surprise. I mean I knew he'd be there of course, but still.

I hugged him tight and took off my shoes before going further away. He wasn't surprised that I came to see Yoongi. He kind of looked really happy that I came.

The last few weeks we texted each other quite a lot but not as much as I texted Yoongi. Jin was a really good friend.

Anyways, we talked a bit, I said hi to the other members and then he led me into their huge house and stopped in front of a white door. He knocked on the door and left telling me that Yoongi would open.

And indeed he did, he softly said hi and immediately went back to his chair.

I had entered his studio apparently. I hesitated a little seeing how concentrated he was while doing his work. He was sitting in front of all of his material. The room was the size of my bedroom, not quite big but just enough. It smelled like vanilla, I wondered why though. The room was painted in mostly light tones. White, light brown and grey dominated. There was a couch on the other side of the room and a coffee table in marble in front of it. The table had a bunch of cables and delivered food on it. I assumed he hadn't eaten all day long.

After analyzing his work place I finally laid my eyes on him. I didn't have time to think about it but he almost kissed me the night before. Oh and I also got hit by ex. I tried to wash it away but his punches still haunted me. I was trying my best not to end up depressed. I simply had to forget about him and what he did to me. I cried enough. My body still hurt a bit but my heart was screaming from the pain and won't stop for a while.

A scream that nobody could hear.

Anyways as I was saying, Yoongi was there, looking extremely good. Did he always look this good? He was wearing ripped jeans, a white oversized shirt, a white cap and some slippers. Damn, he was wearing the simplest outfit ever and it got me on my knees. I felt weird and looked at my own outfit. I was wearing an oversized sweater covering a school-uniform-like skirt. I could've dressed better, ugh!

After about 3 minutes of me looking around and admiring him I decided to take a step forward and said "Wassup Yoongi?"

"The sky, the ceiling, everything above you is up" he answered without taking his eyes off his computer.

I rolled my eyes and sat down next to him.

"Why do you have two seats if you're the only one working in here?" I asked.

"Because some of the members compose with me sometimes? That was a dumb question Yoora" he said laughing.

He finally looked at me after saving his work and turning off his computer.

"I'm glad you're here" he said smiling at me "So, didn't you have to tell me something?"

I looked down at my hands remembering what happened. I tried all day long to avoid it. Avoid the feelings. But I felt broken. Totally broken.

"Well, when you left, I-" l paused, I couldn't say it out loud, but I had to "Sooyun and I had an argument, I told him that we needed to take a break from each other since he couldn't be in a relationship for whatever reason, you know?"

I looked at him in the eyes and I could see that he was waiting to hear the rest. I noticed that I was unintentionally avoiding his gaze.

"Then when I finally told him how I was feeling and what I think about him he-" I tried to hold back my tears but my eyes were so watery that all I saw was blurred out. I looked up so the tears wouldn't roll down my cheeks.

Before I could even start crying he got me up and hugged me tight. It felt good, like always he was there for me.

He was patting my head when I finally felt like talking, I was still in his arms and said "he hit me" my voice sounded unemotional, I felt empty, as I said ; broken.

I noticed his body tensing up, my grip on him tightened because of how hard it was to say the rest but I had to continue "I tried to hit him and I got really angry for no reason, well yeah, I mean I couldn't believe he hit me! And I really wasn't going to let that go so easily"

He stayed quiet but he was clearly shaking out of anger.

"I tried my best to defend myself but he kept slapping me. He grabbed my arms, lifting me up then I kicked him in the balls and he let me go. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife just in case he tried to come near me. I told him to get out and he did. Insulting me on his way out" I said slowly.

I looked up at him, he had his eyes closed and looked really angry. I hugged him tighter.

"This mother fucker..I knew I shouldn't have let you go alone!" He shouted.

"Yoongi, calm down I'm okay, don't yell please" I said worried.

"How can you stay so calm? I'mma kill him I swear"

"No, you're not killing anyone here, I'm o-"

I couldn't finish my sentence because I broke into tears. I tried to hold it back all day long but I was just a big ass mess.

It hit me hard. He really hit me. Like if I was nothing, a nobody to him.

Yoongi led me to his couch and we sat down there. He looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Yoora, I'm so sorry"

"Don't cry with me, you're strong" I giggled. He shouldn't be. I cupped his face with my hands.

He looked at me with such a kind face that it got me flustered. I let his face go and grabbed his hands instead.

"Don't you have bruises?" He asked looking all over my face confused.

"I covered it up with makeup, I had to go to college and to work today, and I didn't want anyone to ask me questions"

"I swear if I find this little bitch he won't survive. He laid his ugly ass hands on you" he said angry.

I looked down and wiped my tears away.

"Yoongi" I said still looking down.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for being here for me, for letting me cry when I need to, for listening to the dumb things I have to say, for being such a good person, for being you, for not judging me" I said smiling at him, my eyes were probably shining because of how watery they were but I continued, "oh lord there are so many reasons why I'm so thankful to have you in my life. I feel broken from what happened but you somehow make me forget, you put the broken pieces back together, you make me feel good and I love it, I hope when you'll be the one feeling this way I'll be the one wiping your tears away and putting a smile on your face. Yoongi, I love everything about y-"

Before I could even finish my sentence his lips were finally meeting mine. It started all cute but it slowly got deeper and more intense.

It was definitely the best kiss I had ever experienced.

We parted away from each other to get some air. He looked into my eyes panting, took a deep breath and said "I love everything about you too"