17 again.

30

"And yes it's normal, if it feels real inside
This new freedom can make you feel whole again"

Cole 

"So... how do you feel?" 

Fin looked up from his lap where a box of chicken nuggets and a burger were balanced precariously. He hadn't touched much of his food which was weird since he loved McDonald's. We're upstairs in my room now.

"I'm not quite sure. I feel a little sad but at the same time kind of... free. Does that make any sense?"

"Not really, but feelings rarely do."

"It just feels nice not having to hide anymore. And scary but mostly nice." He sighed then took a bite out of his burger. "Getting my stuff gave me a bit of closure. I don't think I can face my dad yet. He almost got violent when he found out."

"You don't have to, you have the whole summer to figure out what to do. Then you still have NYU."

"What makes you think I'll get in?"

"What makes you think you wont? They'd be lucky to have you."

"You're my boyfriend, you have to think that." 

  🎵🎸🎵  

I've had a lot of surprises through out my life, many of which connected to Finnian Snow, finding out I love him, our first kiss and finding out he loves me, but nothing could compare to the pure shock I felt when he stepped up on the tips of his toes and planted a kiss right on my lips. Right in front of my locker with several people in the hallway to witness.

"What was that for?" I ask once he pulls back.

"I'm just happy I don't have to hide any more."  He grins up at me. "See you at lunch."

🎵🎸🎵 

"So he's finally made it public." Kim asks as she starts boxing up her piccolo. We were back in the music room, everything had settled back to normal like I'd never left.

"Yep." Word seems to travel fast in our school.

"And you don't mind?"

"I don't care if we're out or not, so far I have him."

"That's so disgustingly sweet I feel like barfing. Good for you."

"I think that's the kindest thing you've ever sent to me. Thank you."

"You're welcome. So... has anyone given you any shit, about being gay I mean?"

"Nope." Nottingham was no New York but most people here weren't stuck in the dark ages. Even our vocal Catholic community was more into furious praying than hate crimes. Most of them anyway.

"Good. If they did I might have to track them down and run them over on my bike."

"How do you plan on getting away with that?"

"I'm a tiny Asian girl, they'll never suspect me. Racism we'll be their downfall."

"Okay you lunatic."

🎵🎸🎵

Today was almost perfect.

Almost.

I should have known something bad would happen.

I'm waiting outside the changing rooms when I see Fin rush out. He doesn't even say anything at first and just wraps his arms around my waist in a vice like grip. At first I thought he was just happy to see me but soon enough I felt him shaking and his tears staining my shirt.

"What the hell happened?"

"This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have kissed you in public. Oh, God did someone do anything to you too?"

"No why would anyone- Wait, what do you mean 'too'? Did some touch you?" He doesn't answer and just holds onto me much tighter. "Fin, look at me."

He does and the first thing I notice is a bruise that runs down his left cheek, then a cut on his bottom lip. Thankfully there's nothing else, that I can see anyway.

"Who did this to you?"

"It doesn't matter right now, just take me home."

▪♢°°○●♢●○°°♢▪

This is probably going to be the second to the last chapter then I'll write an epilogue.

- I. Tamilore Onkọwe 

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