17 again.

23

"This new freedom can make you feel whole again"

Fin

Cole Winters tastes like Chinese food.

I should be thinking about so many other things, like the fact that nothing about could go back to normal after this. Or maybe I shouldn't be thinking of anything at all. Instead all I can focus on is his taste, the feel of his lips against mine, or his hands as they roamed up and down my chest and back.

The kiss started out slow and hesitant, both of us scared the other might bolt. When it was clear neither of us was going anywhere I deepened the kiss.

His lips felt so soft as they moved against mine, every part of his touch and kiss was. I on the other hand was a nervous wreck. My hands moved from his face to his shoulders and stayed there, gripping on to him like my life depended on it. My fingers dug into his shoulders but he didn't seem to notice.

Unlike him I was to nervous to let my hands wander. Maybe I was just over thinking things. It can't be that difficult, can it? I just need to let go, stop overthinking things and let myself relax.

I couldn't really think about much when he caught my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down. I gasped and his tongue slipped past my lips, drawing a moan out from me.

The kiss seemed like it lasted for ever, like we're in our own little bubble. I had no idea how much time passed before he pulled away, panting heavily.

Silence washed over us as we both started to process what just happened. I'm strangely calm as I try to catch my breath and wait for Cole to speak, since I have no idea what to say at this point.

"Fin..." His voice trailed of slowly in to nothingness. He didn't seem to know what to say either.

I rolled over on to my side to look at him. He's on his side too, looking up at me with his big chocolate brown eyes. His eyes raked over my face like he was trying to read my expression.

"H-Hey..." My voice was shaky as his hand reached forward to run his thumb over my bottom lip. "I-I... I know I love you... but I don't know what to do from here."

He grinned widely and leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on my lips. Before I could ask what that was for he answered my unasked question. "At least I'm not the only one." His hand moved down to cup my cheek. "We'll figure it out together."

"H-How long have you..." I paused, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. "... felt that way?"

"I'm not even sure." He ran his fingers through my hair. I shivered and leaning into his touch. "I just know I do and I have for awhile. I didn't know how to deal with it."

"Neither did I, but ignoring it just started feeling worse than confronting it. I came here planning to tell you but... I guess you beat me to it."

"D-Did you like the song?"

"I loved it, I thought I made that pretty clear." I leaned in. "Maybe you still need some more clarification."

He leaned in too. "Maybe I d-"

Knock. "Are you boys ready for dinner?" Ms. Palmer spoke from the other side of his bedroom door. "I made Spaghetti."

"We'll be down in a bit." He answered and a few seconds later I heard the clicking of her heels as she walked away.

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"Where have you been?" And with that my good mood evaporated into nothingness.

My mother was waiting in the living room, arms folded over her chest as she glared up at me.

"Cole's house." I glanced at my watch, it's 10:15. My curfew's 10:45, I know I'm on time, so why does she look so upset? "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, yes something's wrong." She said as I closed the door behind me. "Why weren't you at church today?"

"I had something I needed to do."

"Something more important than church?" Debatably, I'd like to think God wouldn't mind if I skipped church for a day.

"More important than pretending everything is okay with in a church that's trying to protect a pedophile." Turn's out I was right, they did catch him with a kid, so now the church is in a legal battle with the traumatized kids family. And for some reason it was still packed.

"Don't you dare call Father Peter that, he's a man of God who needs spiritual help."

"He's a monster that needs to get tossed in a jail cell to rot."

"Finnian Elisha Bailey Snow!" I cringed. Why do middle names have to be so embarrassing? "How can you say that? He christened you and baptized you and-"

"-and I thank God you never left me alone with him." I interrupted her. "How can you still defend that monster?"

"Well Father Peter isn't our Pastor anymore, it doesn't mater."

"Doesn't mater. Doesn't matter? A child's life was ruined and you say it doesn't mater."

"Finn-"

"I'm not going back to that church."

"Finnian where are you going to-"

"I don't know but I'm not going back there."

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This chapter ended up taking longer than I thought it would cause I had writer's block and ended up watching every episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved - Supernatural and the first two and a half seasons of BuzzFeed Unsolved - True Crime.

I still can't believe Ryan and Shane aren't dating. They radiate sheer dysfunctional couple vibes. They'd be fucking adorable.

- I. Tamilore Onkọwe

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