17 again.

13

Cole

"How did your date with Lacey go?" I forced myself to ask as Fin slid into Beatrice's passenger seat. Yes, I was still calling her that, mostly to annoy Fin.

"Ok I guess, we went for burgers and a movie. I didn't really feel much of a... spark with her." He sighed, mouth twisting into a small frown. "So we're just going to stay friends for now."

I nodded, trying to hide how happy I was. I shouldn't get to excited anyway, just because things didn't work out with Lacey didn't mean things wouldn't work out with some other girl.

Just get over him.

"Better luck next time?" Could I sound anymore disingenuous? Thankfully Fin didn't really seem to notice.

"I think I'm going to take a break from dating." He bit his lip, a nervous habit of his, and I honest to god think I almost crashed into someone's mailbox. "I need to do some thinking anyway."

Thank god, it's better for my heart this way anyway

"Abought what?"

"Just stuff, you'll find out soon enough."

"That reminds me, there's something I need to tell you."

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Finnian Snow smells like peaches.

It's not the first time I've noticed and it hopefully won't be the last. At least if today doesn't go poorly. He's sitting on my bed again, legs crossed like he's meditating.

He looks worried. I've been silent for a full five minutes, trying to find the right way to say it. Do I just blurt it out? What if he doesn't react well? Fin isn't homophobic but he might be pissed I kept a secret like that for so long.

"Cole." I looked up, sharing myself out of my thoughts. Fin's perched at the edge of my bed infront of me, bright blue eyes wide with concern as he worries his bottom lip. "You've been pacing the room for the last five minutes, muttering to yourself. What's wron-"

"I'm gay." The words seem to get easier each time I say them.

"What?!" He's staring at me now, mouth agape. He looks like someone just reversed gravity, or the planets orbits, as if some fundamental law of his reality has been broken.

"Fin." I started after a minute of silence. "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head like a startled animal and scrambles of to bed. "No, no I'm not. I need some time to think." He rushes out the door and down the stairs. I follow after him, begging him to stop, listen and let me explain.

He's too damn fast though, and soon enough he's a block away and I can't catch up.

Five minutes later I'm back home, in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

I'm reaching for my phone and dailing a number before I even think of it, because I'm trying not to think for once.

The call is picked up after three rings and the caller gives a surprised... "...Hello?"

"Luka, remember what you said about distractions?"

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Sometimes, the body and mind can't agree on certain things like whether or not that last Ice-cream sandwich is really a good idea.

Right now I was having a similar problem, except instead of trying to convince my body not to eat that last ice-cream sandwich, I'm trying to will an erection into existence.

Today's been a weird day, okay?

Luka rolls of me with a slight huff of annoyance. I don't think I've ever been more mortified in my life.

"I'm so sorry, that's never happened before." Damn it Fin, even when I try and forget about you, you find a way into my thoughts. Granted, thinking about him is usually how I get erections but right now it's definitely not helping.

"Whatever you're trying to forget clearly messed you up if you can't forget about it for 15 minutes. Spill." He rolled of the bed and tugged on his boxers. We were in his house now, turns out he lived only a few street down and his parents were out of town. "It'll make you feel better." He tugged on his shorts too before flopping back down to the bed.

So I did, and he stayed silent till the end.

"You told him you were gay and he ran out?" I nod. "Good riddance then, I don't see the problem."

"You don't get it."

"I think I do. He's been your best friend for ages. If the fact that your gay anulls that for him then your better of without him."

Better off without him? I can't imagine life without him.

"Do your parents know? That your gay I mean."

"Yeah."

"How did they react?"

"Well, my father gave me this black eye." He winced. "But my mum wasn't that surprised, turns out she and my grandma had a running bet."

"See one halve of your parents are cool with it, you don't need him."

"What about your parents?"

"Oh god, I think they just die if they found out, like keel over with simultaneous heart attacks." He rolled his big green eyes. "Especially my mother, I can hear her now: 'My mother did not tunnel out of North Korea just so you can disgrace the family like this'." He spoke in a high pitched, nasally voice that I couldn't help but laugh at.

We ended up talking for hours and I was kind of glad I found a different way to distract myself.