A Timeless Place

Chapter 63

"We remain unwritten through history
No x will mark us on the map
But in books of prose and poetry
You loved me once in a paragraph."
~ Lang Leav

The Plausabilities of the Mind of Wesley Bane

"Th-that was you?" I stuttered. It now came to me all those times Wes had tried to hint at that memory: When he was surprised that I had still been writing letters; his odd behaviour at that bench at the graveyard; all those ambiguous comments about being selfish. All along he was trying to make me remember an intimate memory we had once shared years ago. And I had ignorantly missed all those clues!

"You can't understand how big of a hit to my ego it was when I realised you didn't remember me," Wes' lips twitched into his signature smirk.

"It was dark!" I blushed furiously, trying to justify myself. I had often thought of that mysterious boy after the incident, wondering if I were to ever run into him at the graveyard again. I didn't and the memory faded after a while. But that boy always held a special place in my heart. "I couldn't see your face. And I assumed the boy had been talking about his mother, just like me."

"Well you exchanged my one problem for another," Wes held onto that reminiscent smirk. "I went from getting over the girl who destroyed my life to falling for a girl who wouldn't even acknowledge me."

"So why did you stick with your 'playboy' status even after you ended things with Renee?" I raised my eyebrow at him, my heart beating erratically at his words of 'falling' for me. I had noticed him at school, but for all the wrong reasons.

"Honestly, I don't know," Wes' forehead wrinkled in thought. "I think it could've been just because the status stuck after Mase left, and I was the new playboy in school. And I think it was to spite him more than anything that I'd taken over his place- his scrawny little nerdy brother, the new and better version of Mason Bane."

"Or maybe it was more for protection," Wes' eyes steadily held my gaze as he continued, "You see, with keeping the playboy façade, Renee wouldn't bother me anymore. I wasn't at risk of being in a relationship in her eyes. And that was protection if when I found someone," he winked at me, "Renee would think nothing of it and I'd be able to be with that someone, with you, without her trying to mess it up."

It was now that I finally understood his nonchalant attitude, trying to pursue me with the façade of it being nothing more than a game. My head was spinning. I didn't know what was real or not anymore.

"Or," Wes continued, winking at me. "It could have been to get the attention of a certain bookworm who refused to acknowledge me."

"So which one was it?" I asked, my voice slightly shaking from all this information.

"Honestly?" Wes looked back at me in all seriousness. "I think it was a combination of all of them."

"But why?" I slowly shook my head at him, still trying to process all this information. "Didn't you just tell me all of this instead of letting it get in the way of us."

Wes bowed his head in front of me and spoke very carefully, "To tell you the truth, I was ashamed and embarrassed."

"Of what?" I raised my eyebrows at him. I had seen Wes vulnerable before, but it was never like this.

"Of letting Renee have this much of an effect on me. I was ashamed that I had to change who I was to live a life free of Renee. It felt as if I had run away from my problems." Wes explained. "But then, you didn't seem to remember our encounter nor did you pay attention to any of the gossip around the school about my past. I had a clean slate with you and I used it. I was allowed to recreate myself in your eyes- to make myself worthy in your eyes."