A Timeless Place

Epilogue

"When I die mix my ashes with ink and write of how I loved him."

Epilogue 

The cool air billowed through the delicate netting of the curtains and the afternoon sunlight danced across the floorboards of my room. It was a nice Sunday afternoon. By nice, I meant quiet and relaxing. I was not recovering from a late-night Saturday party that Eli had dragged me to. Although I did in fact have a late Saturday night- not of that sort though. Eli and I had stayed up talking all night about her boyfriend. Yes, I could finally use that term! And to make my Sunday even better, I was all caught up with my homework already and had even started next week's topics! Yes, it was a nice Sunday indeed. I giggled at the thought of what Wes would say about my 'nice and relaxing Sunday'.

I grabbed a copy of "Throne of Glass" and sat in my arm chair, flicking through the pages to my bookmark to find out the next stage of competition Celaena Sardothien had to fight her way through.

There was a light clatter of noise downstairs and I closed my eyes, not wanting my Sunday solace to end just yet. Suddenly, light footsteps approached my room and I waited in anticipation of who it was that would force me out of my Sunday hermit shell.

A tuft of brown hair emerged from the door and I was surprised to see dad walking into my room. He had an odd expression on his face- a sheepish look mixed with both guilt and embarrassment at the same time. I raised a confused eyebrow at him until my eyes fell onto the letter he was holding in his hands, and I immediately knew what this was about. I laid down my book and crossed my arms over my chest, with an expectant smirk. He had finally read my latest letter to mom.

"You knew?" dad asked, abashed. I nodded, raising an eyebrow at him challengingly. 

"And you're not mad?" dad asked in disbelief as he pulled up a chair across from me.

"Of course I am," I replied defensively and dad stopped mid-track. But I remembered Wes' words and I held myself, taking in a deep breath."I was- really mad, but I know why you did it. And I understand. I'm not saying it was right at all, but I understand."

Dad sat down across from me and bowed his head in sorrow. Never had I ever seen him as self-conscious as he was right now. And I forgave him, of course- he was my father and I loved him. But it still hurt.

"Can I ask one thing though?" I asked and he nodded.

"I was right here this entire time, dad!" As much as I tried, I couldn't help it anymore. As much as I assumed what the answer could be, I still had to hear it from him. "Why didn't you ever just approach me, or talk to me instead of reading my one-way letters?"

Dad's eyes fell to the ground again and his voice held every ounce of shame and sorrow his eyes did, "It was much easier, Cathy."

"Than facing your own daughter?!" my voice broke. I stood up and crossed the gap between us, kneeling down in front of him so he could see me. "She's gone- And we've only got each other left. It's time we honour her memory by living on with our life. So let's do it together."

Dad looked up at me with clouded eyes and nodded. He reached out his hand to tuck a curly strand of hair behind my ear.

"God, you're so much like her," he whispered with a sad smile on his face.

"Which also means I'm always right then," I stood up with a grin and pulled him up with me.

"Stubborn as well," dad muttered.

I laughed and hugged him. He was thrown by surprise and hugged me back tightly, leaning into me ever so slightly.

"No more reading your letters, I promise," dad vowed.

"There's no need," I pulled away and looked up at him. "That was my last letter."

Dad's eyes widened in surprised before he squeezed my shoulders.

"Together?" he looked at me with a steady and proud gaze.

"Together," I nodded. And with that, the doorbell rang.

"Wes probably came early for dinner," I bit my lip at the upcoming dinner that was bound to inevitably happen. Laurina was coming over for dinner and I had a third chance for a better impression. Dad agreed to invite Wes and Eli. And of course, Jordan and Eli were now joined at the hip, so he was also invited.

"That's probably because his best friend is currently unavailable?" dad pressed his lips to stop from laughing.

"Okay, Gossip Girl, I wonder where you got that information from?" I laughed.

"I am the all-knowing, all-," dad started in an ominous voice.

"Okayyy, let's just get that door, shall we?" I rolled my eyes as I pushed him out of my room.

Dad chuckled as he placed the letter on my desk on our way out.

Dear mom,

The birthday party was a success! Well, the birthday was a success- the party, not so much. It was my first ever party that I planned, and it didn't even last two hours! But that after-party was everything friendship is supposed to be. Wes and I finally talked and now, we're working on it. No relationship is perfect, but it's all about finding someone worth having the headache for. And Wes is worth a migraine and a half. Jordan and Eli are finally together and there may be something going on between Kevin and Jan- only time will tell!

Mom, it's time I let go of my training wheels. All these years, I thought it was these letters that were my sole rope in tying me to my sanity. But it wasn't. It was your memory and Eli and dad and now, Wes. And every other friend I've made since. And it's taken me a while to come to that realisation because I was plagued by the guilt of it all. I'm sorry you had to go.

And to dad, it was never your fault. And it wasn't mine either. But what I will be guilty of is not being there for you enough- Of how we lost both ourselves and each other in all of this. But we've found ourselves again, and now, it's time we find each other. 

"Let not darkness dim your light.
Burn bright till the very end."