feelings

Alone

The night that both of you stayed up all night you cried all night to each other about how you both felt. The next day you both acted like it didn't happen. The night you both broke up you cried for a hour and she cried the entire night, she didn't get much sleep that night. You acted like everything was okay. But you knew inside you where crying inside. But she cried wishing you would just listen. Wishing that you would just hear her. Wishing you would just say something without getting mad.  You both started to leave each other in the dark. First it was you, and then it was her. She kept her promise she didn't start cutting again. She kept it but you kept her in the dark. You didn't tell her the truth about what was wrong. She blamed herself, she has always blamed herself. She walks out so she doesn't have to deal with everyone else's pity. She had enough of people and everyone around her. She was trying to talk to you when something was wrong. The nights she would call late and try to talk or was constantly calling, she was breaking down and needed you to at least listen. She wanted you to at least just be their for her.  She just wanted to cry all night once. The night she was scared and had a nightmare on the phone with you, she was trying not to cry. She was scared the night you both where coming back to town to drop her off when she was laying on you because she saw the same thing and couldn't sleep that night. She was scared and couldn't explain what she was seeing. She thought you would think she was crazy. But the thing is it was her depression in the form of a demon, but acted like a angle. She was filled with tears inside and was trying to find a way to let them out. She was tiered of everything around her was falling. She was wanting to talk to someone but couldn't. She is trying to face the fact that you won't care anymore. She is facing the fact that you just completely turned against her like everyone else has. She is tiered of the pain. She just wants it all to end. But she knows she can only hold on to hope for so long before it gets destroyed again by someone else. She knows the truth of everything she told you. She tried to sit down and talk but couldn't say the right things. She ran over the same thing the whole day and then when you to actually got the chance to talk she couldn't. She could feel your mood towards her. She just hates how she knew she should have left you alone that day. She knew she was going to cry and she was right. You told her you where thinking of something that would make her cry but the moment she told you that she didn't care if it would make her cry you didn't take advantage of the chance you had. You told her that you hope she finds someone else that will actually take care of her. But she wanted to scream and tell you she didn't want anyone so she put her head down and cried in her knees, hoping you wouldn't know. But all she wanted to do was sit down and fix the relationship that she was still holding hope on. She cried wanting to rip the necklace off her neck. She wanted to cry knowing that you both won't happen again. She knows you won't trust her even then. So she sits in her room crying all night and any chance she gets when she is alone.