Daughter of the Mockingjay

Talking to Rose

After school two days later I come to realise that I should talk to Rose and see if she knows anything because the questions I have are clouding my thoughts and I'm finding it hard to concentrate with school work, not that I do much anyway.

Rose is out with mum and dad at the moment so Ashton and I are stuck looking after Rye, well, Ashton is.

Sitting in my desk chair, staring at the ceiling is what I like to cool think time, Ashton has totally moved past everything we've learnt about the Hunger Games but it hasn't left my mind, the words Katniss Everdeen coming out of Ms Lawrence's mouth is all I can think about. The amount of things I want to know is making me mad and overwhelmed with anxiety, I feel my breathing become heavier, my blood boiling and my fist clench, I just want the questions to end. I can sense what's about to happen and I don't want it to, but I can't stop it, no matter how hard I try.

Then everything becomes a blur as I let out an angry scream and throw the nearest thing next to me at my door then, I come back to my senses. I take some deep breaths and curl into a ball by my bed.

Usually I don't throw things, but when I do it comes back to bite me. That's what I feel now, the feeling of seeing the smashed photo frame that held the picture of you and your big sister on the floor in tiny pieces, unable to be fixed. I start sobbing uncontrollably and try to scramble all the pieces up.

"No no no no, please no, you stupid idiot Iris!" I scream and hating myself for what I've done.

I scramble all the pieces and feel a sharp pain along my hand and let out a scream of pain.

I hear frantic footsteps coming up the stairs and I know its Ashton, the door slams open and Ashton's horrified face is not even close to being invisible.

"Iris! What happened?" He ask, stepping over the glass and coming towards me.

"I'm sorry, I got mad." I tell him.

"About what?"

"Stuff Ashton."

"What stuff?"

"You don't need to worry, it's just I have many thoughts clouding my mind at the moment and I got frustrated and just lost it."

"Ok, well Rye's still asleep lets clean this up and the- Iris your hand!"

"I know, I'll clean it up ok."

He's about to reply but we hear the door opening, Mum and Dad, oh no.

"We're home!" Mum calls out.

"Up here!" Ashton answers and heads for the door.

"I'll be back in a second." He tells me and I nod, I start to feel light headed, all the questions, my thoughts, my episode, my list of places, finding out about the Hunger Games it's just got too much. My breathing becomes heavier and my vision blurry. I feel really faint and I fall backwards, I try to keep my eyes open but can't, I hear faint footsteps coming up the stairs and I hear someone scream

"Mum! Dad! Come quick!"

Rose.

I hear rushing up the stairs and someone grabbing my hand and a loud gasp.

"My baby!" I hear from my Mum and her and Dad running to my side before everything goes black.

When I wake up the first thing I feel is comfort, I'm in my bed. The soft sheets keeping me warm provide a comfortable feeling of security to me and my pillow's giving my head a soft surface.

I feel something wrapped around my hand, a bandage I presume as I remember the feeling of glass slicing my hand.

"Hey, you're awake." I hear someone say, my sister. She puts her soft hand on my forehead and removes something, a cloth? I didn't even feel that, she then places a loving kiss on my cheek and I smile as best I can. My sister is like my Dad, warm and inviting, she can also be my like my Mum on some days, fierce and strong.

"Hey." I reply again smiling at her.

"I'll go get Mum and Dad." She says and goes to move but I grab her wrist to stop her.

"No, stay." I ask and she goes back to her position.

"You scared us." Are the words that come out of her mouth.

"I'm sorry," I say "I got overwhelmed." I reply sitting up.

"Why? What was there to get overwhelmed about?" She ask, and I know it's time for phase one of my plan to find the answers to my infinite list of questions.

"If I ask, will I receive?" I ask her, it's sort of a thing we do when we want something off the other.

"You shall receive." She replies, here we go.

"Tell me what you know about the Hunger Games." I simply ask, and her face says it all.

"I know nothing other than that our parents were a part of it." She answers and I know she's lying.

"Don't lie to me." I say.

"I'm not lying." She replies, panic all over her voice.

"Yes you are."

"I told you, that's all I know." She whispers and I come to the conclusion of knowing this isn't going to be easy.

"Rose, you have the same reaction to Ashton, shocked but thankful, I don't." I tell her, and that's where it kicks off.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm curious, I want to know more, there has to be more to all this, don't you think?"

She's silent for a while.

"Yes I'm sure there is more to it, but Iris I don't want to know more."

"Why?"

"Because I feel the more I know, the more I see Mum and Dad different, and I don't want that."

"But Rose, you can't just sit there and tell me you're not the slightest bit curious! Think about it, both our parents went in those games correct?"

"Yes."

"Right, both our parents came out."

"Yes, and your point?"

"Rose there is only supposed to be one winner, one victor and there were two that year. something must have happened to make them both win, something had to happen after they won, something had to start that war that Mum ended, Rose, I just, it's just, the questions..."

Again, she's silent.

"All I'm going to say Iris is that no one ever wins the games, there are survivors, but no winners. I leave the classroom when we learn about it, I don't want to know any more than I already do. I'm not saying don't find the answers to your questions but telling you curiosity killed the cat, be careful."

And that's it, she's gone.

'No one ever wins the games, there are survivors, but no winners.'

What does she mean by that? That just puts another question on my list. That also crosses Rose of my places to find answers list as well.

I'll deal with this later, for now I have to deal with the footsteps coming closer to my room.