An Affair to Remember

Three Years Ago

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Three Years Ago

<KEON>

"I missed you!" Nikki said while giving me a warm hug.

"I missed you, too!" I answered. Then I realized, I'm a horrible man. Nikki doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve me.

I took her bag and we headed straight to my car. "Dinner? Where to?" I asked.

"I miss fastfood, Heart. And I'm too darn tired. Mcdo? Drive-thru ... then my place!?" she shrugged. I miss doing this with her. But I still couldn't help but feel the guilt.

She was bringing out our take out and arranging them on her center table. I looked around her living room. It brought back a lot of memories. This was the same place where we finally decided to become an official couple. The same four walls were the witnesses when I popped the will-you-marry-me question and she just shrugged and said okay. I looked at her. She was busy pigging out on the fries. She was too comfortable. It was too comfortable just watching her. I will just keep it a secret. I could not hurt her. What she doesn't know would hurt her, right?

"Stop staring at me, Heart!" she smiled warmly. It was my turn to shrug.

We just stared at each other. What I felt was warmth and comfort. It felt home. But it was not the same intensity that I felt whenever I stared at KC. I didn't feel the desire I felt with KC. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Heart ..." I whispered.

"Heart ..." She whispered at the same time I did.

We laughed and strangely, we said the same line, "I need to tell you something."

We laughed again ... how can we read each others' minds?

"You first," we said in chorus again. Then the room was filled with more laughter.

"Ladies first, Heart." I finally broke our laughter.

Her face became serious. "Heart, you know I love you, right?" She was fidgeting. That was strange.

"What does that suppose to mean, Nikki?" What was she trying to say?

"I'm confused," she blurted out.

"Confused?" What the hell was she talking about? Does she know? Can she sense that I was hiding something from her?

"Of us ... " she fidgeted again. Oh Ghad.

"What do you mean?" I came nearer her and held her hand.

"I met a couple and they looked different, Heart. They were very different from us. Then I realized how different we were from other couples. I didn't see it sooner." she was already crying as she continued.

"What are you trying to say, Heart?" I hugged her. I couldn't bear see her crying.

"Heart, are we really in love? I mean romantically. Or we just naturally love each other ... you know ... like a brother to a sister ..." She continued in between her sobs.

Then it hit me. Did she also realize what I just did when I was with KC? I love Nikki, no doubt ... but I know that she was right that our love might be different.

"I'm really confused, Heart. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to disappoint our families. But I really realized that there was something missing between us. I don't exactly know what it is but I know that there's really something odd about our relationship." She said.

I heaved a sigh, "I know what you mean, Nikki."

She looked at me blankly. I get ... now ... I really get it.