The Welting Chess Board

Me, again..

In my dreams, I most of the time don't see death.
But then again, it's never a success,
Frankly just a mess.

My weary nights have taught me a lesson;
That nothing can cure depression
And not much can help my confusion.

What confuses me is everything and at the same time nothing at all.
My thought process builds up after time and then falls.
It's like my mind reshapes and dissolves.

I can't really seem to get a grasp on what's really wrong.
All I know is that I'm not very strong
To hold up against everything for long.

As far as I can tell, I've become less of a dreamer.
Like an asteroid falling and turning into a meteor,
I'm becoming weaker.

My defenses hardens and still gets knocked down,
I may have my ships and boats but the sailors, they still drown.
A kingdom sits but I always seem to lose my crown.

I don't know and can't tell if many people can or ever care.
I don't know and can't tell if I have many people just sitting here and there,
Trying to help me but my mind won't play fair.