Thoughts

12

I wish I knew what caused my anxiety. It just kinda happened last summer. I became nervous about not having friends in my classes for my sophomore year. However, it was worse. When I was going into my freshman year, I had no friends in my classes at all. My two best friends at the time went to different schools, my girlfriend at the time wasn't in any of my classes, and I had one friend in one class, but I didn't care. I ended up making friends (my two best friends now), but with my sophomore year, it was all bad. It was also mid July last summer when I started having difficulty sleeping. I mean, I've had difficulty sleeping since I was 11, but not like this. I was terrified and had multiple panic attacks at night and I was all scared of something that didn't exist. Then one the day before school started, my ex boyfriend tried to come back into my life. I had anxiety when I saw it and felt so anxious then we fought then I got pissed off. Then school started and I had pretty much like 4 mini panic attacks on the first day. Like I said, my anxiety just kinda started last summer and I have no idea why. Everything was way worse.

Now pretty much I can't sleep cause it's hot and my bed is stiff and uncomfortable and it's hard to fall asleep especially on nights when my girlfriend wants me to stay up. She didn't care tonight, but she didn't care much at all today so I kinda avoided her today. But whatever. I need to stop thinking. I'm actually tired now, but I wanna stay up all night.