Thoughts

100

Hoo boy. Time for another rant.

So one time me and my oldest brother got into a huge fight, I forget about what. But I get extremely pissed off so I grab a game controller and I'm about to go and smash the shit in his face. My mom gets angry at me and yells at me so I just walk off to go cool down. Then she and I get into a huge fight and she ends up insulting me and saying I have no moral compass. When she explains the situation to my dad, she's practically in tears as if I was about to go and murder my brother. Yeah, I know hitting him would have been stupid and thinking back, I'm glad I didn't do it. But still, she was so upset and said I had no moral code and ended up insulting me. I know it was stupid, but still. What about the times my brothers actually did hit me?! Hm?! I have never hit them! I haven't hurt them! But I've been punched in the gut, face, and arm! I've been given a wedgie and I've been fucking choked at one point! Did you ever react like that?! No! You just lectured them. Actually, you didn't lecture them for hitting me that was only for me being choked. In fact, all you ever said was for them not to do it or when I'd complain you'd tell me to tell them to stop which of course they never did. You let them get away with it all the time, but if I'm about to do what they did then you act as if I'm some psychopath. Yeah, it's not right to hit people. But nonetheless, you were in tears. What about all the fucking times they hit me?! What about when he choked me?! You didn't cry then!! You just lectured him when he choked me! Not when they punched me! Just a quick "don't hit your sister." As if that does anything!! You people think telling someone to stop will make them?! It only makes them wanna do it more!!! They don't fucking care!! They enjoyed it! Then you start coming to me as if you actually fucking care and as if you're there to help!! You weren't ever there to help when I needed you! You'd tell us to work it out ourselves which always resulted in them ignoring me and them doing what they wanted! You'd tell me to tell them to stop! You only got involved and ended up punishing all three of us as a whole which only made them seem to hate me!! So I just learned to keep my damn mouth shut so they wouldn't hate me! You rarely ever did anything to help! I hate you so much! You aren't there for me so don't fucking lie! I hate you!! I hate you and I'm sorry.