Lydia

Chapter 31 "Reconnecting"

Irene

I was sitting on the sofa chair inside my bedroom and was looking out of the window.

That was how I was spending every day since the accident, sitting on the sofa chair and looking out of the window or reading a book.

I was looking the life that was passing in front of me, not participating in it, just watch.

I felt that I didn't have the right to live, my accodent had showed me that.

My wounds had healed and my leg was better. Maybe I would be able to remove the plaster a little earlier than a week.

I didn't believe him at all. I had always in my mind that he was trying to cheer me up because of my depression.

I didn't believe in anything anymore, even in my own self.

I didn't believe that I was able to do anything, I felt useless.. maybe I deserved what happened to me.

Because of me two lives were gone, one of my friends was sent in prison and the other one was wounded badly.

That's why I deserved to be punished.

I deserved to stay alone.

Not that my family and friends didn't love me. They were always by my side.

But they had their own lives to deal with, why should they deal with me??

My parents were old enough, maybe not too much but still..

My parents would die one day after many years..

Lydia and Dimitri were married, they had made their families.

Anastasia would get married soon too.

Sofia was making a progress with her life too. She told me that she was in love with someone, but she hadn't told me who that guy was.

Also Phoebe..

Phoebe had many days to send me a letter. The last time we communicated was before our trip for Markella's birthday. He hadn't learned about my accident yet.

I didn't know why I hadn't received an answer from him yet.

Who knew?? Maybe he had abandoned me too.

At the thought I felt a pain on my chest.

When we were little, he had told me that we would always be inseperable, that nothing and nobody would seperate us.

I was always able to keep my vow to him and to both Fotini and Sofia.

When Sofia and Phoebe were hurt because of me, I had lost the world. That's why I started having depression.

Phoebe was that who helped me to find myself again more than anyone else, because he was the one who was hurt more.

Every single letter from him was relief for me.

But now?? What happened now??

Why had he abandoned me first??

Everyone will start abandoning sooner or later Irene.. a voice said in my head.

I found myself crying silently.

My sobs were increasing and soon the bedroom was full of them. My tears were running down my cheeks without stopping.

"Υou are alone Irene.." I said to myself through my cries "Everyone will start leaving you.. you are alone Irene.."

I kept crying.