Toilet Paper | K.th

Twenty Four

Hoseok stares down at the brunette in his lap. Her head rests on his thigh, eyes shut as he soothingly runs his slender fingers through her short hair. After an hour he had managed to calm Rae down a bit, coaxing her and telling her it was best for her to eat and then lay down for a bit. She reluctantly did, the back of her mind telling her that there was no time for rest; study, study, study. But, she managed to push that voice away so she wouldn't overwork herself--most likely doing that if Hoseok hadn't stopped by; It wouldn't be the first time.

They were in a placid state. Rae was taking a small nap in Hoseok's arms, not making any movement to keep her comfortable. He made sure to put his phone on vibrate, only answering texts Yoongi sends about business or small cheesy texts Hoseok would then return (he had to stop because Yoongi threatened to block him. Hoseok shrugged it off as a bluff, but decided to quell his cutesy pickup lines for the greater good).

Hoseok gets pulled out of his bantam thoughts when he feels Rae shift in his lap, stirring awake. Her dark burnished orbs come into view when she languidly flutters her eyes open. A small groan leaves her lips, a protest from her sore muscles being in an awkward position for too long.

Her tired gaze focuses, red hair coming into view until she cascades down to the crescent eyes that stare back at her. Hoseok tilts his head, wondering if Rae was in the right state of mind now. She allows her eyelids to fall close again as a sigh leaves her plump lips.

"I'm not fine." She concedes, raising her arms up to her abdomen. Hoseok was taken a back by her sudden confession. He shifts a bit, placing his arm on her bed as he remains quiet, listening to whatever she needs to say. "I'm okay." The brunette nods in self-assurance, trying to collect the words that fit in her puzzle piece of self indulgence. "I hate being just okay, because it's not necessarily considered happy and-and being okay isn't that big of a deal for anyone to care, but I also don't want them to point out how I'm feeling..."

What am I saying? None of this makes sense! But, she couldn't stop herself from continuing, from pouring out her thoughts into the palms of Hoseok's hands; hoping that he'll clutch onto them securely and never let go. Her gaze meets Hoseok's, her pupils dilate in an unknown emotion. She parts her lips in hesitation. "I'm just so scared to touch happiness only to have it taken away again."

Yuck! She hates herself for being so emo. Why am I so depressed? She screams out to herself. She had laughed a lot, was surrounded by people with great personalities, and enjoyed college for the most part--why was she being like this? She can't pin-point it.

Hoseok makes a 'hmph' noise as he processes Rae's words, lips pursing in thought. His eyebrows furrow, "I don't understand, Taehyung told me you make friends quick. You're surrounded by people who give you attention–why're you sad?"

Why was she sad?

Just the other day Rae was having a full blown conversation with someone about how Zach Efron would totally dom Corbin Bleu if it ever came to a situation that needed them to get down and dirty--no homo tho.

–Besides that, Hoseok was completely right. And she doesn't know the answer either. Her eyes look away from him in defeat, tired. She was tired. "Just because I'm surrounded by people, doesn't make me happy." The latter nods, agreeing with her. He lets out a huff of air and taps her shoulder, indicating for her to get up. She reluctantly lifts her head. She sits up as Hoseok stretches, his legs getting sore from sitting in that position for so long.

"I really can't help you with your emotions, Rae. I'm a very enthusiastic individual..." He says, guilt in his tone for not being able to have a deep conversation about her feelings and actually being able to relate. "But, I know who can." A small smile lifts onto his lips as he peers at the girl, quickly standing up and helping the other to her feet. She quirks an eyebrow at his words, wondering what he means.